Skip to main content

Author: Carrie Bock

Carrie Bock is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Smyrna, TN who helps people get to a deeper level of healing without compromising their faith. She specializes in working with Christians struggling with OCD who have also experienced childhood trauma, providing intensive therapy for individuals who want to heal at a faster pace than traditional therapy.

153. What if I Can’t Relax? How to Start

Written by Carrie Bock on . Posted in OCD, Podcast Episode.

In today’s episode, Carrie discusses the challenge of finding true relaxation when your mind is constantly racing. She offers insights on how our bodies hold onto stress and provides practical tips on how to begin retraining our brains and nervous system for relaxation.

Episode Highlights:

  • Why relaxation can feel impossible when you’re constantly performing
  • The value of rest, as Jesus exemplified, and how to apply it in your own life
  • How to begin retraining your brain and body to embrace relaxation, even in small doses
  • Practical tips on mindfulness and distress tolerance to help you relax and be present
  • How to use spiritual practices and reflection to discover the root of your tension and find healin.

Episode Summary:

Do you ever feel like your mind is constantly racing, and your body is tight, tense, and unable to let go? 

Why is it so hard to relax? In our Western culture, we place a lot of value on performance and productivity. We’re constantly running, whether it’s in our jobs, parenting, or personal health. But Jesus, our Savior, modeled a life of simplicity and focus on God’s will, not on personal achievement or status. As Christians, our worth isn’t based on what we do but on God’s love and purpose for us.

If you’re finding it hard to relax, it might be due to a cycle of constant performance – whether for your boss, your family, or even for God. But the truth is, God wants us to honor Him by finding balance and rest.

Sometimes, the struggle to relax also stems from our past – whether from growing up in a high-stress environment or dealing with trauma. Our nervous systems often remain on high alert long after the threat is gone.

Relaxation isn’t just about taking a break—it’s about retraining our minds and bodies to slow down and trust in God’s timing. In this episode, I’ll guide you through practical steps you can start using right now where you can fully disconnect from the hustle and experience true relaxation. 

Tune in for more insights and practical tools to find deeper peace in your mind and body, and learn how to grow in your walk with God while overcoming OCD.

Explore Related Episode:

123. Three Reasons You Don’t Prioritize Self-Care with Carrie Bock, LPC-MHSP

Transcript

Do you feel like your mind is always going, just constant movement, constant thought process? Is your body just so tensed up and tight? Your stomach’s tight or your chest feels constantly tight? These are the kinds of things that I hear about from clients regularly. I just can’t seem to relax. My body just won’t be able to let go.

So I thought it would be a good time right before hopefully you have some time off to talk about what to do if you can’t relax and how to get started with that process.

Hello and welcome to Christian Faith and OCD with Carrie Bach. I’m a Christ follower, wife and mother, licensed professional counselor who helps Christians struggling with OCD get to a deeper level of healing. When I couldn’t find resources for my clients with OCD, God called me to bring this podcast to you.

with practical tools for developing greater peace. We’re here to bust through the shame and stigma surrounding struggling with OCD as a Christian, sharing hopeful stories of healing and helping you replace uncertainty with faith. I’m here to help you let go of the past and future to walk in the present abundant life God has for you.

So let’s dive right into today’s episode. Before I forget, I want to say Merry Christmas to everyone. A week from today is Christmas Day, so we won’t be producing an episode that week. It will be worth the wait, though, because on January 1st, I have Jen Tucker back on the podcast. If you remember, we did an episode back with her on breath prayers, so catch up on that one during Christmas week if you haven’t already listened to it.

Jen is coming back on the show to talk with us about a ancient form of Christian meditation that she’s implemented in her own life to help her grow deeper in her walk with God as well as reduce anxiety. So it’s a great episode when you’re not going to want to miss. What if you feel like you can’t relax?

You may even be asking yourself this question, why is it that I have difficult time relaxing? One reason is that we place so much value, especially in Western culture, I don’t know if it’s the same in other cultures around the world, but we place so much value on performance. And what are you doing? We don’t place a high value on rest, which means that we’re constantly trying to run around and be productive.

We’re productive in our parenting by taking our kids to extracurricular activities. We’re productive in our work life by producing something and then, oh, we have to have a side hustle because Jenny down the street does and she wants to get out of her corporate job. Not really asking ourself if that is even right for this time or season in our life.

Then we’ve got to be productive in our health, doing some type of exercise, workout program, hit this, or, oh, I’m doing this XYZ cleanse on my body. I’m not that crunchy, but these are the things that you hear people talk about, right? Everybody’s like, We have to have goals and what’s your goal for your life right now and achievement, achievement, achievement.

We take that and create some type of meaning about ourselves. Here’s the deal though. When you look at Jesus, we’re trying to follow a Savior who wasn’t about self promotion. In fact, a lot of times when he did miracles or certain things for people he would say, don’t tell anybody. Of course, they were just healed, so they were telling everybody, but he was almost like trying to keep things under the radar until the right time or didn’t want.

People didn’t necessarily make a big deal out of him. Jesus didn’t have a fancy house. He didn’t own a lot of land. He was so focused on what does God want for me today? And just a beautiful thing about that that I am reflecting on is that sometimes that meant taking time with a Samaritan woman at the well, talking to someone who Was at a different racial, class, socio economic level, maybe, than he was.

Sometimes it meant hanging out with the quote, sinners. What was most important to Jesus wasn’t the activity. It wasn’t the money, obviously. It was about really ministering to people and pleasing God. Loving God, loving others. That’s what we need to get back to when we boil it all down as Christians. Our value is not even based on how much quote religious activity we’re engaged in because unfortunately there’s some people listening right now who are doing so much at church that you are on the brink of burnout.

I’ve been there, I know how that is, and you feel like, well, got to do all these things for God. In order for God to be pleased with me to one reason we might not be able to relax is because we are in this frenzy of performance. I want you to evaluate, is that you? Are you trying to constantly perform for your boss, for your spouse, for your kids, for God?

The reality is that we need to have an audience of one and constantly be filtering what we’re doing through, are we honoring and serving God and doing the things that He wants us to do? We’re told to seek His kingdom first and everything else will follow. By dropping your internal performance requirements for yourself, that’s going to get you into a healthier place to be able to change your mindset in order to relax.

Sometimes we have to shift our mind and our body will follow. Sometimes we really have to work on calming our body, and that will help us relax our mind. Those are those two different helpful ways, and we have to know how to do both of those, because our minds and bodies are constantly interacting. It may be time to reflect on whether or not you saw your parents relax and take time off.

Was dad working 70 hours a week and that’s just what you knew therefore followed suit with that? Maybe even you had a stay at home mom But she was constantly running or constantly going or constantly cleaning something and she couldn’t ever just sit down and watch TV Or couldn’t ever just sit down in silence Maybe you’re struggling because you’ve come out of a difficult season where you did have to be on high alert You Due to some type of trauma or due to being in a toxic work environment.

Maybe you’ve gotten out of an unhealthy relationship and your nervous system, a lot of times, it takes time for it to come down, recalibrate, and adjust to what’s actually happening right now. If you have not heard, trauma is not something that’s just stored in your brain, it’s stored in your body as well.

Oftentimes our body has not caught up to what our brain already knows. This is why people come into counseling and say, I know that OCD is being ridiculous. I know when I’m in a clear headspace these things are not true, but they feel intensely true and my body is responding in a real way to the sphere.

And I’m like, yes, it is. Learning to regulate your nervous system in small doses is the key here. That’s what I want you to pick up as a main point from this entire episode. You are literally having to retrain your brain and body if you’re in that high alert, fight, flight, or freeze state constantly. And there are some people who come in And what I say is, it’s like their nervous system is on fire.

So if your nervous system is on fire, number one, please remember that medication is an option for you. And know that there isn’t a quick fix to this. It’s going to take some time to re regulate your nervous system, to re train your brain. There’s no magic wand that we can zap over you and help you to be more calm, but it is going to take consistent retraining where you say to yourself, all right, let me sit here for one minute and not do anything.

If you’re one of those people that’s constantly on the go, constantly moving, constantly performing. Just take a minute to sit and purposefully not do anything because what that’s doing is it’s telling your brain This is okay. The first time you do it, it’s gonna be super uncomfortable. Just prepare yourself for that You’re not gonna know what to do with yourself.

You might be fidgety. You might be feeling not so great But the more that you do that and then slowly kind of increase some of that time like okay nervous system I just want you to know We’re just sitting here, we are valuing rest, we are valuing relaxation, we are valuing what the scripture teaches us about Sabbath, that is one of the big reasons for Sabbath is to rest in the dependency that we have in God, it’s not all about us.

That one minute that you’re sitting there not performing and doing anything. It’s a great time to start practicing mindfulness. What mindfulness does is it increases our awareness and helps us develop what we call distress tolerance. Distress tolerance is what it sounds like. It’s your ability to tolerate uncomfortable emotions, to tolerate anxiety, anger, sadness, whatever is coming up in your internal experience.

mindfulness. It helps you be able to tolerate the distress of thoughts that are there while at the same time creating this third person perspective where you’re becoming an observer of your own experience without being caught up in the middle of it. Becoming an observer, being curious about your experience, allows you to increase your awareness of what’s actually going on in the present moment.

And when you are able to isolate the present from the past and the future, that reduces a lot of distress. Because we only have to worry about right now. I can’t fix tomorrow. It’s like Jesus said, let tomorrow worry about itself. It’s another day. I think a lot of times people try to practice mindfulness or meditation and they give up too early because it’s hard and it’s uncomfortable and it’s not a clear one, two, three step process to a new life.

It is a deeper level work. It’s an introspective level work that often we’re not taught how to do that. Going back to, we just stay busy and we focus on doing. God is not just interested in what we do, God is interested in who we are. So if we’re going to have true character formation, we have to go a little bit deeper.

I want to give you a little bit of an example of something that as I’m recording this I’m processing through in my own life. I’ve been noticing that I’ve been more irritable lately and noticing that and it has allowed me to pray about that. Ask God, okay, what is going on in my spirit? What is happening with me emotionally that is causing me to be more irritable?

Irritability is getting in the way of me producing the fruits of the Spirit that I want to be producing, like patience and kindness. Becoming aware of this process within myself and my recent behavior allows me to confess this to God and it allows me to become curious and to say, Okay, God, I am submitting myself.

To the transformational work in the Holy Spirit. I cannot do this on my own. I cannot fix this irritability on my own Give me wisdom and guidance and I’ve asked so many questions. Like what is contributing to this? Is this a Physiological change hormonal change that’s happening. Is there something that I’m angry about?

Is there someone that I haven’t forgiven that I need to forgive? It’s a process. It doesn’t happen necessarily all at once. As you’re reflecting and maybe taking this difficulty to relax before the Lord, God will give you wisdom. God will give you spiritual peace. God will give you guidance on whatever your next step is.

But if we don’t take the time to even sit and acknowledge, Hey, this is an issue. And I know for my, the betterment of my physical, emotional and spiritual health, I want to be able to learn how to relax, how to let go, how to trust, how to really know deep in my soul that God is in control. I don’t have to control everything in my environment.

What we’re talking about is sanctification. This process of becoming more like Christ, and for me, meditating on scriptures about anger, I want to be slow to become angry. For you, it might be meditating on scriptures that have to do with Sabbath or trust or that God loves you. Really allowing those scriptures to sink down deeply into you.

Another thing I will tell you in terms of being able to relax is that sometimes we can put too much pressure on ourselves to relax. I don’t know if you’ve ever been at the doctor’s office or getting a massage and they’re telling you to relax and then you’re having struggles like, Oh no, now that I’m thinking about trying to relax, it’s just really hard to.

I had a situation with a doctor where they were trying to look at my throat and she had the dreaded tongue depressor on my tongue and I felt like I was going to gag. So she tells me just to relax. I’m like, okay, Carrie, I understand this. Because when you’re anxious, one of the things that can happen is that your throat can close up.

I don’t know if my throat was constricting or if my tongue was, like, stiff. I don’t know what was going on, but clearly she knew that I was having trouble at this moment. And I also thought, how do you relax when somebody has this tongue depressor so far back in there? It’s a trouble. But I did breathe, and I think we were able to get the throat looked at.

This is why sometimes people will say that deep breathing exercises don’t work for them. First of all, some people do have obsessions about breathing when they start to focus on their breathing. So notice if that’s you, you probably don’t want to be doing deep breathing exercises. And there may be other people who do deep breathing exercises where they don’t get obsessions, but they get so focused on trying really hard to relax that it actually makes them more tense because they don’t feel a level of safety in order to be able to relax.

Typically, that’s a trauma response to something that’s happened in your life, like your nervous system is like, no, that feels too vulnerable to relax. Sometimes it may be difficult to relax in front of other people where you feel like you can’t actually relax on your own. That’s also a thing. I had to learn this very early working with clients with chronic anxiety or PTSD to be super nonchalant about if they weren’t able to relax in session and just roll with it and try something different.

Now, with Parth’s work, we’re able to explore a little bit more. Okay, well tell me about that part that doesn’t feel safe to relax or that part that feels like it has to be going all the time or has to be performing. Maybe there’s a sense that you feel like you have to be managing or somehow on all the time, if that makes sense.

In your process of learning to relax, I want you to see if you can find some things that bring you joy. It’s okay to let go and have a little fun. We don’t have to be serious all the time. Is there a movie or TV show that just makes you laugh out loud? I’ve shared about this before, but one of the things that I find relaxing is Paint by Numbers, because I don’t have to think about what color I have to paint it.

I don’t have to think about freehanding something, which, first of all, I do not have the artistic talent for, but it’s a slow, kind of steady, easygoing process. I can do a little bit and then put it down for a little while. I can come back to it. And it feels good for me to be creative. Maybe you’re not a creative person, but you like fixing things or tinkering with different projects.

Maybe you find just laying out in the sunshine to be relaxing. Some people like baths. They find those as relaxing. I went through a period with that. I can find baking relaxing sometimes, I don’t do that as much anymore, but there was a period of my life where work was really crazy, I never knew what was going to be thrown at me, but I knew that I could come home, throw some ingredients together, put it in the oven, and come out with banana bread, and something felt really wonderful and magical about that because it was predictable when everything else was not predictable.

What is it for you? What is a small step that you can take to retrain your brain to learn that relaxing is okay, and that you can relax and let go a little bit? Don’t try to change this one overnight. But if you do have some type of trauma in your past that you feel like is keeping you from being able to relax, I would say definitely find a trauma therapist, somebody that can do some type of EMDR, brain spotting, something that’s really going to get your brain and your body engaged in the process.

Somatic experiencing is also really great. Wherever you are in your journey, remember to just be very kind to yourself. And remember, these small steps, even one minute of mindfulness can add up and cause a ripple effect to bigger change. Until next time, may you be comforted by God’s great love for you.

Were you blessed by today’s episode? If so, I’d really appreciate it if you would go over to your iTunes account or Apple Podcasts app on your computer if you’re an Android person. and leave us a review. This really helps other Christians who are struggling with OCD be able to find our show. Christian Faith and OCD is a production of By the Law Counseling.

This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be a substitute for, seeking mental health treatment in your area.

152. Struggling with Motivation in OCD Therapy? A 4 step process to get going!

Written by Carrie Bock on . Posted in OCD, Podcast Episode.

In this episode, Carrie shares practical insights on overcoming barriers to motivation, especially when dealing with OCD. She breaks down how to identify what’s holding you back, practice self-compassion, and approach challenges with grace and curiosity. 

Episode Highlight:

  • Why it’s hard to motivate yourself, even when you want to make changes
  • How OCD therapy can be challenging and exhausting, but you can keep going
  • How focusing on priorities, rather than making excuses, can help you make time for recovery
  • Why saying “no”  to OCD opens up time for self-care and better habits
  • How to get specific about what you want in your life and why it’s important for motivation
  • How rewarding yourself and tracking progress can help you stay motivated on your recovery journey

Episode Summary:

Have you ever felt stuck, wondering why you can’t just motivate yourself to do the things you really want to do? Trust me, you’re not alone.

Today’s episode is all about the struggle with motivation. You know that feeling when you have a goal, but somehow can’t bring yourself to take the next step? It’s common in OCD therapy. 

As a counselor, I’ve worked with many people who struggle with motivation because of OCD. They spend hours on rituals like washing or seeking reassurance, leaving little time or energy for the healthy habits that are essential for healing. If you’re feeling stuck or frustrated with your progress, I want to help you shift your mindset. Let’s stop being hard on ourselves and instead ask: What’s in the way, and how can I overcome it with God’s strength?

In today’s episode, I’ll share practical tips to help you stay motivated, whether it’s focusing on therapy, prioritizing self-care, or simply setting small, achievable goals. We’ll also talk about how rewarding yourself for even the tiniest victories can keep you moving forward, one step at a time.

Tune in to learn how to embrace progress over perfection, stay motivated, and lean into God’s strength as you work toward healing.

Explore Related Episode:

130. Need More Than Weekly Therapy? Is a Therapy Retreat Right for You? with Carrie Bock, LPC-MHSP

Transcript

Have you ever felt like, why am I not doing the thing that I say I want to do? Why can I not motivate myself, get my butt in gear to do the things that are important to me? That is what we’re talking about today. Hello and welcome to Christian Faith and OCD with Carrie Bock. I’m a Christ follower, wife and mother, licensed professional counselor who helps Christians struggling with OCD get to a deeper level of healing.

When I couldn’t find resources for my clients with OCD, God called me to bring this podcast to you with practical tools for developing greater peace. We’re here to bust through the shame and stigma surrounding struggling with OCD as a Christian, sharing hopeful stories of healing and helping you replace uncertainty with faith.

I’m here to help you let go of the past and future to walk in the present abundant life God has for you. So let’s dive right into today’s episode. You may know that Christians Learning ICBT is starting January 13th. And while this training is geared towards lay people, not necessarily professionals, we did have one professional join us this fall.

So I wanted to play you a little snippet of what her experience was like. Hello, I am Erica Kesey. As a therapist and a coach, I have been able to take this information and use it with my clients to be able to actually break them free from those obsessions. It’s been absolutely amazing, and now it has totally unlocked them in ways that we would never been able to do it without this training. To find out more information about Christians Learning ICBT, go to carriebock.com/training. I’m sure you’ve had this experience where you may have had a particular goal in your life that you were wanting to achieve. But then when you actually go to put the steps in place, it seems like you just can’t push yourself to do it.

You just can’t seem to get there. What I see in OCD therapy is a couple different things. One, it’s hard. It’s not easy in this recovery process. You guys, the OCD warriors out there, It’s hard to keep going day after day when you feel like you’re fighting all of these thought processes and you might have struggled to get particular help that you’ve been looking for.

You might have tried a couple things that haven’t worked for you, and it just seems hard to pick yourself up to keep going and going again. With clients, what I see is that, well, I’ll give them homework, or they’ll have a specific goal they’re working towards, or some small actionable step that they’re going to take that week.

It could just be reading their ICBT homework, writing their obsessional story. It could be a goal towards stress management and reducing their stress level at home. And then we come back the next week and maybe they haven’t done the thing. And I think for a lot of us, it goes towards this road of shame.

Like, oh, I didn’t do the thing I said I was gonna do. I feel awful about it. I’d like to take a different perspective and say, okay, well, let’s reduce the judgment and reduce the shame on it and just be curious about it. What got in the way of you doing the thing? Or what do you feel like is the roadblock or the barrier?

I think your first step really is to be curious about this motivation issue. Like if you were an employer and you had an employee that wasn’t working very hard, you could go really hard on them and say, why aren’t you doing the thing that I told you to do? Or you could take a more gentle approach and say, Hey, I noticed your performance standards haven’t really been up to par lately.

Why do you think that is? Help me understand. Tell me what’s going on. Because you might not know. Maybe that person is caring for an aging loved one. Maybe they’re under some health stress that they’re not gonna tell you about. This is a way that we want to be with ourself. Just very gentle, self compassionate.

Okay, so I didn’t do the thing that I set out to do. Let me be curious about that. Are there thoughts connected to that? Is there a sense of hopelessness? Like, I could try this, but I just don’t feel like it’s ever gonna get any better. It could be that you feel like you don’t have any time for your OCD therapy, or you don’t have time to engage in the things that your therapist is asking you to do.

When we say we don’t have time for something, what I hear is, I’m prioritizing other things over that. So what am I prioritizing over engaging in strategies that are actually going to help move the needle and get you to a positive place with your OCD recovery process? And it’s amazing when you say no to OCD, just a little bit, imagine how much time you can get back.

Because what I hear is people telling me that they’re spending two hours washing something. Or they went down the YouTube rabbit hole trying to get some type of reassurance for their relationship issue that could have been funneled into doing something more healthy for their self care or for their OCD recovery.

You might not have time to do things that will be helpful to you, like journal, or meal plan, or other healthy habits, taking a walk, exercise, because you are spending a lot of time scrolling. We have to be honest with ourselves and take a hard look. I took the Facebook app off my phone because I was habitually going into it.

I still struggle some with habitually checking my emails, it’s like, oh, is there a new email in there? I don’t know why I get so excited about email, it’s still gonna be there, it can wait. My point is, how much activity are you spending on things that are mindless and not really helping you with your physical, mental, or emotional health?

I know some of you out there are my caretaker individuals, and you are so focused on taking care of your children, making sure that your household is run well, taking care of your husband, taking care of parents, other people, everybody else but yourself. And so in your curiosity process, as you’re going through and examining, why am I not engaging in things that are healthy for me?

Are you feeling guilty because you’re doing things for you instead of doing things for others? This is where I have to go back to Jesus example, where he took time to retreat, to get away from everybody else, to go spend time with the Father, to fill up before he could pour out. Jesus also said no to people.

He took time to rest. He took time to socialize, slow down, dine with people. He was serving, loving, and meeting other people’s needs, but he also knew that he had physical needs and spiritual needs that needed to be attended to. I think some of us who are knee deep in the trenches, doing a lot of work at church, being involved in a lot of Christian activities, I think we forget that our spirituality and our relationship with God is more about being than doing.

Our doing has to flow out of our being, otherwise we are going to get burnt out because we’re going to be reliant on our own strength instead of plugging in and relying on the strength of God. After you’ve been curious about what’s going on, why am I not doing the things, then we need to go back to, like, get super specific about what is it that you want and why do you want that.

I’ve worked with so many people who will come into counseling and honestly they don’t even know what they want and part of our process is really helping them sink down and tune in and dial into when you say I want to be free from OCD, when you say I want to have peace, Tell me what that looks like. I need to know.

Okay, well, I’m spending this much time taking an hour and a half shower that I could be spending with my child. I’m asking so much reassurance from my spouse that they’re now annoyed and frustrated with me and almost a little cringey when I come to talk to them about something. I need to get back to that friendship relationship with them.

That’s what I want. This is your time to get super specific. You may often look at what you want to remove from your life and I would say that’s not a good place to start because if you remove something from your life, it’s going to have to be like filled in with something else and if we don’t even know what that something else is, there’s not much motivation for us to start removing stuff.

A greater analogy would be that if you have a bunch of weeds in your garden maybe and you want to pull those up so you can pull up the weeds but then if you don’t plant something else there that’s going to flourish and grow and use that soil and expand and spread out eventually like if you were to plant enough plants they would crowd out the weeds logically for the most part.

Or, there might be still a little room for the weeds to grow, but they wouldn’t have the whole garden territory. What are some positives that you can plant in your life that will rowd out the weeds of OCD? I know a lot of you are incredibly smart people, deep thinkers. And you are going to need a healthy way to engage that mental activity.

If we just say, okay, let’s just pluck out the OCD and then you don’t have any other way for your brain to be challenged, that might really hurt you and the OCD just ends up creeping back in there because it’s a way of your brain, like, expanding and problem solving and mulling over things. You might need a healthy project that you can get knee deep in the weeds with and have that level of focus and instead of it going towards OCD problem solving, have it go towards a hobby or a new skill that you want to learn.

Before my daughter was born, I was really engaged in trying to learn Spanish, and I was on the app, and I was playing the different games and trying to figure out what was going on. I have not kept up with that, but my point is, when you are really focused in on a task like that, you’re expanding your brain, you’re using your mental energy, but it’s really hard to focus on anything else at that point, to have other things competing.

So what is it that you really want? Is OCD keeping you from engaging socially? Is it keeping you from dating? Is it keeping you from having more friends? Or going out to restaurants? My point is, you don’t just want OCD to go away, just like someone doesn’t just want to lose weight. There’s a reason they want to lose weight.

They’re looking for more confidence, or for greater health numbers, or the ability to do certain things that they’re not physically able to do now. When you dial into what you really want, it helps you know And stay motivated to move forward. If you can visualize yourself in these positive avenues that you’re looking for, if you can visualize yourself getting in a dating relationship, for example, and I know that that may seem really far off.

It may seem super hard. You may feel very insecure about being able to do something like that because of OCD. For some people, I know it’s having children. They feel so nervous about having children because they’re struggling with OCD. Whatever the thing is, if you can picture it and have that positive picture in your mind going forward, that’s so going to help you stay motivated.

That’s what I’m after. That’s what I’m moving towards. It’s a new identity. A lot of times it’s a new version of yourself. Once you have that positive picture in mind, then I want you to think about what is going to actually motivate you to get there. Now, motivation is interesting because different people are motivated by different things.

There might be something that motivates me that really doesn’t motivate you. And this goes back to what do you want? There are all kinds of different things that you can use to celebrate or reward yourself along the way. We do this with children all the time and we forget to do it as adults. I had a cousin that worked for a major brand, I probably shouldn’t say it, but anyway, this individual worked for a major brand and my aunt said one day, they run that place like a kindergarten classroom.

And I thought, Well, they haven’t been in business for a long time, so there must be a really good reason why they’re running it like a kindergarten classroom. What she meant by that was it wasn’t like they were talking down to them. She meant it in a positive that they had all kinds of goals and rewards and stars and swag that they could get.

Because it works, because those types of things motivate people. So for you, it might be a coffee, it might be, let’s go to this new restaurant that I’ve been wanting to try, let me go get a pedicure. Some of those rewards might be naturally built into what you’re wanting to do. So for example, if someone’s afraid of flying and we help them work through that, They’re able to now go on vacations that they weren’t able to go on before.

Some of the rewards might be naturally built in, but if they’re not, then that’s an opportunity for you to say, Okay, how am I going to make sure that I’m tracking my progress? That I’m really celebrating that I’m talking, it could be as small as when I have a victory over OCD, for example, if Googling is a problem when I say every time that I say no to Googling.

I’m putting a sticker on my calendar, or every time I get away from the sink in ten minutes or less, I’m putting a sticker on my calendar. I’m gonna really celebrate that, and then when I get a certain number of stickers, I’m gonna have this type of reward. Kindergarten classroom it for yourself. Some of you are really motivated by positive words, or by verbal praise.

That’s great. You can do that for yourself or you can have other people around you engaged in that process. Like if you tell your spouse, Hey, whenever you see me really struggling and I don’t ask for reassurance or you see me like, say, start to ask and then stop. Will you please acknowledge that? Will you please say something positive?

Or will you write me a note when you feel like I’ve been doing a little bit better with OCD? It is helpful to have others acknowledge when we’re doing a little bit better, but it’s also important to be able to acknowledge your own accomplishments in this area. When we have praise, that reinforces and makes us want to do that more.

Like I said, we have no problem doing this with children all the time. We’re like, good job, kid. You put your plate in the sink after dinner. My daughter right now, we’re doing the whole like potty training deal. Here’s a gummy bear if you sit on the potty, like, woohoo, we have songs, we have a little book with plays music, all the things to make it a positive, happy, praiseful experience so that she wants to do that more.

The other thing that we do with rewards very easily is we can say, let me get this done and then I’ll go do that, a less preferred task and to a more preferred task. For example, if I say, oh, I’ve really got to write this email out or I’ve really got to work on this report, let me do this first and then I’m going to take a break and do that and go outside and rest for a little bit.

Let’s work really hard as a family to clean the house together and then we’ll order a pizza or go out for dinner. Maybe you’re working on exposures or you’re working on ICBT homework and you say okay after I do this Then I’m going to do something more preferable I’m not gonna watch that show that I have saved in my queue until I’ve done this piece right here So now that we’ve talked about rewards a little bit, and rewarding yourself to be motivated, I want to talk to you about who is on this supportive journey with you.

Do you have friends that know that you’re going through this? Do you have family members? Do you have a spouse? Do you have parents? Like, who is on the journey with you? That you can have healthy accountability with that you can say to that person, like, Hey, ask me, have I done this thing next week? When you see me, I have a business bestie.

We meet once a week and we just talk about it. What are you doing in your business this week? What are you going to be working on? What’s the next step? And just having that healthy check in accountability regularly is so important. And it has helped both of us be able to move our businesses to a healthier place.

You can do that in your OCD recovery process, you can get some friends or family together to check in with you, that you can provide information, I don’t think it’s always just having somebody else, like, ask you, you need to be able to share yourself and be okay asking for what you need, like, hey, hey, Whether that’s what we were talking about before, like asking for praise at certain times, asking, can we go do this together if I meet these certain goals?

I would love to be able to support you in January with Christians Learning ICBT. I am in Tennessee, but we have people from all over that are going to be on there just learning these modules together, learning how to have a healthier, relationship with their OCD, learning to manage their thought process differently, and to say no to OCD’s demands, to give in to compulsions.

I would absolutely love to have you on there. If you go to karybach. com slash training, we’ll also put that link in the show notes for you. But it’s karybach. com slash training. You can find out all about Christians Learning ICBT. You’ll find out when we’re meeting once a week, but even if you aren’t able to meet at that time, we’ve had several people, this cohort who weren’t able to make the lives, but they did go back in and watch the course material.

They set aside an hour and a half a week to really engage with the video and then do the homework and have seen progress. Until next time, may you be comforted by God’s great love for you. Were you blessed by today’s episode? If so, I’d really appreciate it if you would go over to your iTunes account or Apple Podcasts app on your computer if you’re an Android person and leave us a review.

This really helps other Christians who are struggling with OCD be able to find our show. Christian Faith and OCD is a production of By The Well Counseling. This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be a substitute for seeking mental health treatment in your area.

151. 3 Ways to Be Mindful this Christmas Season 

Written by Carrie Bock on . Posted in Podcast Episode.

In this episode, Carrie shares three powerful tips to help you slow down, manage anxiety, and truly savor the season.

Episode Highlights:

  • How to prioritize Jesus during the Christmas season
  • Why it’s important to be intentional about your time and avoid overscheduling during the holidays.
  • How to create meaningful Christmas traditions with your family, especially if you’re in a season of grief or change.
  • The importance of self-care if you’re experiencing depression or stress during the holidays.
  • How to handle family gatherings with grace and make decisions that work for you and your loved ones.

Episode Summary:

In today’s episode, we’re talking about having a mindful Christmas. It’s easy to get caught up in the holiday hustle, but I want to help you focus on what truly matters: celebrating Jesus, reducing stress, and being intentional about how you spend your time and energy.

I’ll walk you through three ways to make this Christmas meaningful:

  1. Prioritize Jesus – Reflect on His sacrifice and make time to serve others. Whether it’s donating to a food pantry or volunteering, we want to make the season about giving and sharing Christ’s love.
  2. Be Intentional with Time – It’s easy to overschedule with all the family gatherings, but be mindful of your limits. It’s okay to say no or make adjustments if it’s too much. Remember, quality time matters more than checking off every obligation.
  3. Mind Your Budget – Set a budget for gifts ahead of time to avoid financial stress. Sometimes the best gifts aren’t material but heartfelt gestures like a thoughtful note or a helping hand.

This time of year can be tough, especially with grief or mental health struggles. If you’re feeling down, it’s okay to take a step back and focus on self-care. And remember, you’re not alone. Take it slow, prioritize what really matters, and let yourself enjoy a peaceful and meaningful Christmas.

Thanks for joining me today, and I hope these tips help you navigate this season with mindfulness and joy!

More Episodes to Listen to:

109. What Christmas Teaches us about Managing Anxiety and OCD with Carrie Bock, LPC-MHSP

Transcript

Hello, and welcome to Christian Faith and OCD with Carrie Bock. I’m a Christ follower, wife and mother, licensed professional counselor who helps Christians struggling with OCD get to a deeper level of healing. When I couldn’t find resources for my clients with OCD, God called me to bring this podcast to you with practical tools for developing greater peace.

We’re here to bust through the shame and stigma surrounding struggling with OCD as a Christian, sharing hopeful stories of healing and helping you replace uncertainty with faith. I’m here to help you let go of the past and future to walk in the present abundant life God has for you. So let’s dive right into today’s episode.

Welcome to episode 151. I’m so glad you’re here today. And Since it’s the beginning of December, and we’re getting ready to go into the Christmas season, I wanted to do an episode on three ways to have a mindful Christmas season this year. In order to do that, we really have to plan ahead of time. We have to be intentional about what we want to do, we have to be intentional if we want to get away from the hustle and bustle, the commercial aspects of Christmas, in order to have time celebrating Christ and spending time with our family members who we love.

We have to think through what season of life that we’re in because sometimes Christmas is going to look different in different seasons of life. You may need to do something different because you’ve had a loss experience. It may be time to develop a new tradition within your family. You may have kids where you didn’t have kids before.

In our situation, obviously, our daughter was too young last year to really understand much about Christmas, but I think this is the first year that we will be able to talk with her more about Jesus being born and what that means for us. I am definitely looking forward to that. Another reason that I wanted to do this episode was because stress is really awful for OCD.

We’ve talked about that a lot on the podcast. I want you to be able to be mindful about having a positive Christmas season, while at the same time reducing your stress load. Here are the three ways to have a more mindful Christmas season. One is prioritizing Jesus. We really want to take some time to reflect and think about what Christ did for us.

entering our world so that we could be saved from our sins. This is so huge. God could have saved the world any way he wanted to, and he chose to become a man and struggle with the same temptations that we struggle with and dealt with the same type of relationship issues that we deal with. He was hurt.

He was betrayed by others. People just. Up and abandon him at the end of his life. I did an episode last year about what Christmas teaches us about managing anxiety and OCD that you may want to go back and listen to. It’s episode 109. I think there’s some good tidbits in there for you to reflect on, hopefully.

Another way we prioritize Jesus during this season is to look at what do we want to be involved in, maybe that church has going on, whether that’s a Christmas play, whether that’s something with the children, whether that’s a Christmas Eve service. There’s so many opportunities for giving during this season.

Of course, we want to be giving and serving towards others year round. Maybe you don’t have something that you’re actively involved in. Christmas is a great time to hop in and say, what can I do for the local food pantry or for the homeless in my community, foster children who need Christmas presents, stuffing stockings for seniors in the nursing home.

So many different ways to get involved in giving. So really that’s a way where we’re prioritizing Jesus, that it’s not just about us getting presents or, Oh yes, finding all my favorite stuff on sale or things like that, but taking the time to be intentional about what are we giving to others, not just our friends and family, but people that maybe are in a different place in their life.

Maybe there are in a. down trodden season and we can help lift them up or love on them during this hard time. We want to prioritize Jesus in terms of what we’re teaching our children, and that may look different for different families. It may look having a manger scene, talking to your children about the different characters in the manger scene and what that means, what the birth of Christ means, reading certain storybooks.

It may look like having a birthday cake for Jesus. Whatever it looks like in your family, and I look forward to creating some of those traditions with our daughter. Steve and I haven’t talked about this a ton yet because I’m recording this episode early in November, so I haven’t had a ton of time to think about it.

However, I’ll let you know maybe when I send out an email sometime in December what we decided that we want to do for that. It’s incredibly easy to be busy this time of year, even busy doing a lot of Christian activities, but we don’t want to lose the meaning of Christmas in that process. We don’t want to miss the moments of contemplation, reflection, peace, and joy.

Another way to have a more mindful Christmas season is to think about and be intentional with what are you doing with your time. Resist the urge to overschedule and do everything. We want to be mindful about planning and executing family gatherings. I know some people may have three or four family get togethers if they have parents who are divorced and remarried.

It can be a lot to get to all the places or to do all the things. And if you’re trying to cram four Christmas celebrations in in two days, not only is that exhausting and overwhelming, possibly too much if you’re a highly sensitive person, it Know that you don’t have to continue with things just because you’ve always done it that way.

It’s okay to say, hey, this is a crazy time for us, can we reconvene for New Year’s? Can we reconvene as a family sometime in January? We have some family that we are not going to see until after Christmas this year, and that’s okay. We’ve made some scheduling and some traveling decisions, and they’re okay with it, and we’re okay with it, fortunately.

But you may have family members that push back if it’s the way that you’ve always done it. As much as you love your family, sometimes being with certain family members, Might be really stressful for you, so keep that in mind in terms of your holiday plans. Being intentional, not just doing something out of obligation or the way that you’ve always done it.

And it’s okay for some gatherings that you may want to pop into for two, three hours. It doesn’t mean you have to stay for six hours. You can still go and be a part of it. But if you know that being around certain family members are going to cause you a lot more stress, it’s okay to duck out a little bit.

It’s between you and the Lord who you spend Christmas with and your family. When we do things that please God, it doesn’t always mean that it’s going to please everybody else in the equation, or you may do something that pleases one family member and then another family member is unhappy. Just know that those things happen and we have to be able to adapt and move forward and say, okay, I’m accountable to God for how I treat other people.

But as long as I’m not being malicious or hurtful towards other people, I’m going to pray about this and take it up with the Lord, make sure that I’m right with Him, and then move forward if family members are upset with me about something. I think that’s a good general principle, not just for holiday season, but just general principles for dealing with your family.

You are an adult, you have a choice, you can decide that this is the Christmas that you want to go travel with your spouse. And that you don’t want to run around and do all of the things that you normally do. And I worked with a client one year on this, and it was incredibly freeing for her. She didn’t believe me, like, that she could say no to some things.

Because she was always doing things out of obligation. But when she was intentional, she was able to say, you know, I enjoy having more quality, in depth time with these family members. So I’m going to schedule other times to see them, not just at the big family gathering. And that was more fruitful for her, and much more of how she wanted to spend her holiday than just trying to rush and make sure that she saw everybody without that in depth quality time.

This also goes back to what season you’re in. Last Christmas was particularly tough because it was a first Christmas without mom or dad. And it was really important for me to be with my side of the family. And of course, Steve understood that dividing time when you have a spouse is obviously something you have to figure out some type of system or agreement on.

There was a time after my divorce where I did not want to unpack Christmas decorations and decorate my house like I normally did. One of my roommates really freed me up and was able to say, well, do something different. Don’t just decorate the same way that you’ve always decorated. And I actually got some blue Christmas lights for the tree and put like all blue Christmas lights on.

I found this beautiful ribbon at Hobby Lobby. That ended up being a nightmare because I didn’t realize, like, how many rolls of that I was going to need, but I kept, like, having to go back. However, anyway, the tree looked really pretty. It looked different than it normally did. I kept the, some of the foster child ornaments put away because I just wasn’t in a place where I could handle that.

And now I have some and I keep some at my office. I have a miniature Christmas tree there, and I think I may have some for our tree at home. I can’t remember how I’ve split those up exactly, but I can look at them now and not be horribly sad. So just know if you’re going through grief and loss, there may be things that you want to do this holiday season that are different, just to start something new or to have a shift or to let yourself know that, yes, It’s not going to be the same this year as it has been in the past, and that’s okay.

Take care of yourself in that process. You may be going through a mental health period of depression during the Christmas season. There are people that experience that. It’s like, quote, supposed to be a happy time, or we feel like we’re expected to always have a smile on our face, like, oh, yay, isn’t Christmas so great?

But just know that it’s okay to be depressed, too. That may be the season that you’re in. And you may want to keep things minimal until you’re feeling better. And you may just not want to focus on a ton of social gatherings. You don’t want to completely isolate yourself because that’s not necessarily healthy either.

But you may need to put a little bit more time and energy into some self care, making sure that you’re sleeping and eating and doing things that rejuvenate you, trying to get some physical activity, and that may take a lot of energy, and you may not be able to expend it in other areas. Just know that if this is a depressive season, that that’s okay.

It’s okay to take a little bit of a step back. When you’re looking at how you’re spending your time, just go ahead and look and see what do you have on your calendar. Evaluate it and decide, do we want to go to all of these things that we were invited to? Maybe we don’t have this problem because I’m a solo person, but maybe you have a work Christmas party.

Your spouse has a work Christmas party, and your child has this big thing going on around Christmas, and the church has a function over here, and maybe there’s just too much going on. That’s a time where it’s like to sit down with the family and evaluate the calendar and say, okay, which one of these things are priorities?

Like, yes, we are absolutely going to try to make it to that as long as we’re not sick. What are we doing there? And then for some of those other optional things, just seeing what you can do. Saying, okay, well, maybe we don’t want to go to that one at all, or we do want to go, but we just want to go for a short amount of time.

Maybe we’re going to show up a little bit late to it. Give yourself the freedom to know that you can do those things. You don’t have to be all 110 percent in for these events. Obviously, I’m talking from an introvert personality and from a highly sensitive personality. So. I can’t handle having my calendar just be maxed to the gills, it just does not work very well for my nervous system, but I don’t know, maybe you’re an extrovert, and you need a ton of things on your calendar, and that just fills your cup, so.

Take this advice and make it your own. And the last thing that I want to talk to you about when we’re looking at having a more mindful Christmas is money slash gifts. First of all, decide what your budget is ahead of time. Hopefully you have decided this before the beginning of December and you’re not just making that.

Decision last minute, I know a couple of Christmases, Steve and I felt like we spent so much money on medical bills throughout the year. It just seemed like we didn’t have much left for when it came down to Christmas and that was disheartening. So you may have a year like that and it’s okay. You know why?

Because some of the best gifts that you can give people are not always monetary. Sometimes someone needs a note of encouragement. Sometimes they need someone to watch their child so that they can go do Christmas shopping. Maybe you know a single mom and they’re trying to figure out how to juggle a lot of different things.

Is there something that you could do to help them or bless them in some way this season? Sometimes I’ve made things before, whether that’s making food for people or making crafts. Maybe you think, well, I’m not a crafty person. But is there a home project, using your gifts, whatever they are, maybe you’re good around the house, maybe there’s a home project you could do for somebody.

So by deciding what your budget is, talking with your family ahead of time, how are we going to do Christmas gifts this year, we’ve done different things at different points in our family, we’ve done name drawings, we’ve done, and usually there’s some type of spending limit associated with that, or the person has some kind of wish list.

We’ve done experiences instead of gifts. I’m a big fan of those. For those of you who know me, I’m a bit more of a minimalist. I just don’t need a lot of stuff around me. It gets cluttered, it becomes too much, and I end up having to figure out what to do with it later. So I try to bypass all of that by, Being more focused on, let’s do something together as a family.

I love doing new things and making new memories with the people that I love. The older I get, I find the less stuff that I want, actually. And when you’ve lost both of your parents, as I have, it just really shifts your perspective on these types of things. Well, when we’re talking about what’s most important for Christmas, Are you going to look back at the end of your life and say, wow, I’m really disappointed that I didn’t get that air fryer I wanted?

No, you’re not going to care about that. The things that you might regret though, are not going and making those special memories with your family, or you might regret not slowing down. Long enough to really be able to enjoy others, the joy of Christmas and Jesus. Let’s be mindful. Let’s be intentional.

Let’s be focused I do have another episode that I did on surviving the holidays with anxiety That’s way back on episode 55. I talked about some of these same concepts, but you may find some other things in there I talked about how to survive holiday parties, which I know is a big one You If you have a lot of anxiety, especially socially.

OCD Warriors, as we’re getting into 2025, starting to think about goals for the new year, I want you to think about what you would like your relationship with OCD to be, how you would like that to be different, maybe, than it has been in 2024. If there is absolutely any way that I can help you with that, please contact me via the website carriebock.com

com. I’ve got a contact page on there. You can also contact us on the podcast page, I believe. Just let me know what I can do to help you. I would love, love, love to do that. Until next time, may you be comforted by God’s great love for you. Were you blessed by today’s episode? If so, I’d really appreciate it if you would go over to your iTunes account or Apple Podcasts app on your computer if you’re an Android person and leave us a review.

This really helps other OCD be able to find our show. Christian Faith and OCD is a production of By The Well Counseling. This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be a substitute for seeking mental health treatment in your area.

150. Five Reasons You’re Not Progressing in Your OCD Recovery

Written by Carrie Bock on . Posted in OCD, Podcast Episode.

In this episode, Carrie dives into why you might feel stuck in your OCD recovery and shares powerful strategies to help you break through those barriers and make real progress. 

Episode Highlights:

  • How past experiences and mental health challenges can affect your progress.
  • The role of hopelessness in hindering progress and how to overcome it.
  • How stress management plays a crucial role in OCD recovery.
  • Why trauma can be a major obstacle in your OCD journey.
  • The importance of having the right tools to manage obsessions and compulsions.

Episode Summary:

I’m Carrie Bock, your host, a Christ-follower, wife, mother, and licensed professional counselor who helps Christians navigating OCD find healing and peace.

Have you ever found yourself thinking, Why does it feel like I’m stuck in my OCD recovery? Maybe you’re feeling like you just can’t get ahead, like things should be progressing, but they aren’t. Well, I’ve got you covered.

Today, we’re talking about five reasons why you might be feeling this way.

Reason 1: Hopelessness is Blocking Your Progress.
You might be feeling like there’s no way out, like it’s all too much, and that maybe nothing will work for you. I’ve seen this come up so often in my intensive therapy sessions. It’s normal to feel skeptical if you’ve tried a bunch of things that haven’t worked. But I want you to know something: you can get better. The work we’re doing today is advancing, and we have better tools than ever to help people manage OCD in a more Christ-centered way. The healing God has for you might look different than what you expect, but it’s still available.

Sometimes, the healing you’re asking for might not be what God is offering. Maybe you’re hoping for complete freedom from OCD, but what God wants for you is healing in your heart, teaching you how to trust, persevere, and grow stronger in Him. Don’t give up. Healing can come in many forms.

Reason 2: Stress is Unmanaged.
Let’s face it—life is stressful. Work, relationships, kids, family… It can all feel like a lot. And if you don’t have the right tools to manage that stress, it can fuel your OCD. I’ve talked about this before, and it’s so true: Stress makes OCD worse. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, you have to prioritize taking care of yourself—physically, mentally, and spiritually. Stress management might look like saying “no” to some things, setting healthy boundaries, and making time for self-care.

To hear the rest of the reasons and how to overcome them, be sure to tune in to the full episode!

Let’s keep moving forward together. And as always, I’m here to walk with you on this journey of healing and restoration in Christ.

Explore Related Episode:

124. What to do When Compulsions Become Habits and Routines

Transcript

Episode 150. Have you ever wondered why you feel stuck? You feel like you can’t get ahead in your OCD recovery and you’re sitting there thinking to yourself, what is the problem? So I’m going to give you five reasons why today.

Hello and welcome to Christian Faith and OCD with Carrie Bock. I’m a Christ follower, wife and mother, licensed professional counselor who helps Christians struggling with OCD get to a deeper level of healing. When I couldn’t find resources for my clients with OCD, God called me to bring this podcast to you.

With practical tools for developing greater peace. We’re here to bust through the shame and stigma surrounding struggling with OCD as a Christian, sharing hopeful stories of healing and helping you replace uncertainty with faith. I’m here to help you let go of the past and future to walk in the present abundant life God has for you.

So let’s dive right into today’s episode. Just so you know, we are going to be off for Thanksgiving next week. So we hope that you have an amazing Thanksgiving with your family. You won’t see an episode come out from us. What you will see is an amazing flash sale coming out via email. If you want to be a part of that and get the biggest discount you’re going to see on our January launch of Christians Learning ICBT, you can do that by signing up for our email list, carriebock.com/ocd. One thing that we know about OCD is that it’s a chronic condition that waxes and wanes, typically due to stress. People will tell me, I had years where I wasn’t severely bothered by OCD, or at least it was at some type of manageable level where I could handle it. Then, something hit me, I got triggered one day, next thing you know, I’m down the rabbit hole, and now it’s really hard for me to manage my symptoms.

Obviously, this is very frustrating, because you’re thinking, how did I go through this period of my life and I was doing okay, and then I get to this period and things feel completely unmanageable, and you may feel like, well, I should be able to handle this. If that’s you, just know you’re not the only person who’s felt that way.

Sometimes you need different tools for different seasons of your life. That’s reality. Maybe you’ve done a round of ERP before, and things were flowing really well. And then when you started to have more mental compulsions, you found that some of the things you were doing before with ERP, you weren’t able to apply to your present situation, or you’re struggling with knowing how to apply what you learned in the past to your current symptoms.

One reason you may not be progressing with OCD recovery is you feel hopeless. You may feel like, there’s no way I’m going to get any better. And when we tell ourselves that, it blocks our progress, it blocks our ability to open up our mind and think about potentials. Think about creativity with small ways we could make changes, different types of help or treatment that we could get if we are completely closed off saying, no, I’m just probably going to be this way my whole life.

I’m never going to get better. I’m just going to continue to suffer. And I guess I’ll just have to deal with it and figure it out. I would say if you are experiencing this, I don’t blame you because you probably have tried many different things in the past. It’s interesting since I’ve been doing these intensive therapy sessions, one thing that usually shows up in the very beginning of a multi-day intensive is hopelessness.

Even a one day intensive people will say, I am coming in. I’m nervous because I don’t know how this is gonna go, and I don’t know if it’s actually gonna work for me or not. I can almost predict that people are going to say something similar to that and I’ve just started letting people know that’s completely normal.

If you feel like you’ve tried a lot of things that haven’t worked and then I’m asking you to try something new, of course you’re going to be skeptical and maybe feeling hopeless that it might not work. The reality is that we are learning new ways of helping people and growing in clinical skills every day.

We have different options. You can get better. You can have a better relationship with your OCD than you do right now. Will it go away completely? I don’t know. Only God knows that. It may not go away completely, but you can learn tools to manage it differently. And I really hope that you will join me in January on that journey.

I’m a firm believer that if you are not dead, that God is not done working in your life. God is the author of all healing. Sometimes we look for complete healing and our idea of healing is not necessarily the same healing that God wants to give us. Let me explain. You may want to be healed of the disorder when God wants to remove the shame.

You may want to never have an intrusive thought again when what God wants for you is to learn perseverance and strength under trial. You may want to never have to wrestle with a compulsion again, and God may be calling you to a place of greater dependence and trust in Him. Through learning the twelve modules of ICBT, I would love to have you there as a student just soaking in information, working on homework worksheets, and applying those principles to your life.

The second reason you may not be progressing in your OCD recovery is that your stress isn’t managed well. Maybe you just have a lot going on, a lot of moving pieces, whether that’s work stress, whether that’s home or relationship stress. Whether that’s stress with your children, I don’t know what your particular stress is, but if you don’t have the tools or the boundaries or the ability to calm yourself down, to be able to relax and be able to decompress when you need to, you’re going to continue to struggle with OCD.

I had An entire episode on this talking about how your stress is going to make OCD worse every single time. Stress is important to manage regardless of what mental health issue you’re dealing with, but especially with OCD, you have to have skills and tools and a plan and boundaries and self care to manage your stress.

Otherwise, your symptoms are going to continue to be out of control. And look. Some things are completely outside of our control, related to our stress, there may be other people in your life that are making certain choices that are causing you stress, whether that’s a boss or whether that’s a sibling or whether that’s a coworker or a friend.

And the reality is we have to, in these situations, look at, evaluate, what’s actually in my control about this situation? What can I actually do? Can I evaluate my schedule and determine if I have too much on my plate and see if something needs to come off? Not everything is for this season, so it’s okay to say no, have boundaries, to say, hey, you know what?

I would love to help you in the church nursery, but I just know that I’m having to travel a lot of weekends for work, and so when I’m home, I would like to just be worshipping with my family. I am so sorry that I am not able to help you out in this season, but that may change in a different season. Part of stress management and healthy self care is taking care of your physical body.

You have to be able to make sure that you’re working on things like sleep, eating, exercise, movement. We cannot expect our mental health to be in a good space when our physical health isn’t in a good space. If you were eating junk food all the time or constantly running through the drive thru, that’s gonna affect your gut health, that’s where your serotonin is produced in your gut.

And even though I don’t have specific research to support it, because I’ve looked for that research related to diet and OCD, I have had several clients tell me that their diet makes an impact on their symptoms. Oops. I know when I don’t eat well, I feel lethargic, run down, lacking in energy. When I don’t feel well, that means I’m more impatient with my loved ones.

I’m more quick to anger. I’m not the person that I want to be when I don’t take care of myself. We want to make sure that we’re being good stewards of the body that God has given us. And if you have a lot to work on in this area, it’s okay. Start small. Take it one step at a time. One healthy change is going to lead to another healthy change, to another healthy change, and it’ll just be this beautiful ripple effect.

The third reason you might not be progressing in your OCD recovery is that trauma is in the way. Here’s the deal with trauma and OCD. I mean, I’ve talked about this before on the podcast. If OCD is fire, then trauma is the gasoline. When you take away the gasoline, there still may be some fire, but it’s not going to be raging as intently as it was before.

There are two modules that we look at in ICBT where trauma really shows up. One is the obsessional story of module three, where people will cite personal experience as being relevant to why their obsession is relevant. The second is module four, it’s what we call the feared self. It’s who OCD is telling you that you’re going to become if you don’t engage in these compulsions.

If it doesn’t come out at intake, a lot of times what I see with my clients when we go through modules three and four is that there’s something from the past that they’re stuck on. They may not identify it as like a major traumatic event, But it may have been an intense emotional experience that affected them or something that somebody said.

That really got stuck in their head that they can’t seem to get out. As we unpack those past experiences, it really helps people to have clarity, to be able to move forward. Even something as simple as recognizing I’m not stuck in that past time anymore. I can move forward. I am in a different space in my life.

I’m a different person than who I was in the past. Even just some of those simple things can help people. For situations where there was chronic childhood trauma or a traumatic event that seemed to trigger, OCD symptoms, that is where I will utilize EMDR with individuals to help them clear out that trauma and come to a place of resolution so that they can then jump back in and continue the ICBT work.

This is one of my major criticisms with ERP is that it’s not always trauma informed. Sometimes it is, and sometimes it’s completely not. Where I’ve seen situations where individuals have been been through ERP and had reported trauma that was never processed or dealt with in any specific way in treatment.

And sometimes going through ERP when people have not dealt with the trauma tends to exacerbate their trauma PTSD symptoms. Remember, we talked about this before, 25 percent of people who qualify for an OCD diagnosis also qualify for a PTSD diagnosis. That’s 1 in 4 people in OCD recovery. If we as the clinicians are not looking at trauma as part of this picture, we are doing you a serious disservice.

I also did a show a while back on being highly sensitive and how that impacts treatment. If you are highly sensitive, you are going to view more things as traumatic than the average person. That’s just the reality, because you’re more sensitive to your emotional experience and empathizing with others, taking things in.

That also has to be taken into consideration. Depending on your situation, if you have a lot of trauma, you may want to pursue trauma treatment prior to pursuing OCD treatment if the person that you’re seeing isn’t able to do both or incorporate those for you. I have to make clinical considerations about this all the time and usually I’ll talk with my clients and help them and we’ll talk through, hey, does this make sense as far as if we go down this pathway and we start with some EMDR, start with some trauma processing.

And then shift over into ICBT, how does that sound to you, or does it sound better to start some ICBT, get some skills under your belt, and then go into some trauma processing, like I said, when we get into modules three and four, it depends on each person’s, like, individual situations. Sometimes if you haven’t had a certain level of OCD treatment, it can get in the way of your ability to process trauma because you’re just going into your head and you don’t have those skills to really be able to sit with your emotional experiences.

If you’re not in touch with your body, you’re not going to be able to process the trauma fully. You may be able to process it from a mental cognitive level, but trauma processing needs to really be a whole body experience. Look at the book The Body Keeps the Score for more information about that. Trauma is really stored in the body.

Number four, you haven’t learned the right tools to manage obsessions and compulsions. This is for my friends who have been in talk therapy, really getting a lot of just reassurance seeking from their therapist, or maybe they’ve had some Christian counseling with someone who has given them the typical Christian tools, like, hey, you’ve got to take every thought captive, or you’ve got to pray about this, you’ve got to learn to let it go and give it to God, These might be some things that would be helpful for if someone doesn’t have OCD, but if you have OCD, you need a specific set of tools to be able to know how to manage obsessions and compulsions as they come up, how to respond to them instead of reacting in that same loop, same cycle over and over and over again.

Some people have tried therapy in the past and felt like it hasn’t worked for them, or Unfortunately, I’ve talked with people that have had negative experiences with therapy. And when you’ve had negative experiences, I feel like it’s about two times as hard to go back and get up and try again. I really want to encourage you, find a therapist you can have a consultation with, whether that’s a short phone call or email exchange or learning what you can about them online.

Reading a blog post, something that they’ve written. That’s one of the beautiful things about this podcast, is that so many people have felt more comfortable about being able to come and see me because they’ve heard my voice, they know how I talk, they know my style and approaches to treatment. I definitely can tell a difference when I’m sitting down with somebody who has listened to the podcast versus just someone that doesn’t have that context or doesn’t know that much about me.

If you don’t feel like you’ve learned the right tools to manage your obsessions and compulsions, please join us in January for Christians Learning ICBT. ICBT is an incredible tool that allows you to see your compulsions as irrelevant. It helps you to slow down your thinking and get in touch with your true identity, not who OCD is telling you you’re going to become.

And that’s the beautiful thing for Christians is that it integrates really well with Christianity. And the fifth reason that you may not be progressing in your OCD recovery is that you’re resistant to trying medication. This is true for many Christians that I’ve talked to, and look, I hear you. I know so many of you want to take a holistic route with your health and not have to be on medication.

I know so many of you feel like you don’t want to be on medication for long term, or you fear becoming dependent on it. I would say that over the past year, I have massively changed my approach to medication when it comes to OCD treatment. Whereas I used to just say, Oh, okay, it’s all right if you don’t want to take medication, let’s try therapy first, see how things go, and then you can reevaluate and determine if you want to get on medication or not.

And now what I’m doing is talking to people in the very first session. about what is your openness or willingness to try medication. Research shows us that people tend to have the best outcomes when they are utilizing medication and therapy together. Oftentimes I will see people who either have one part of the equation but not the other.

They’re willing to do therapy but they’re not sure about medication or they’ve been on medication for a while but they haven’t done therapy and so you need those pieces really to work together. Not to be a pill pusher or cause people to feel like they’re forced to do something, but I do really encourage people that it is so helpful when someone is more at a medically stable, medicated state to learn these skills, to grow, to utilize them, than if they’re constantly having to fight obsessions and compulsions.

And it somewhat depends on the severity, obviously, that someone is dealing with. As I started to see more and more people who were dealing with higher levels of severity, I started to having more conversations initially about medication. If someone comes in and they have more OCD tendencies or they have a mild case of OCD, maybe they’re only dealing with one theme and it’s not affecting their functioning level, then we can say, okay, maybe that person doesn’t necessarily need medication.

But if you’re spending hours a day on your OCD, it’s time to consider medication if you haven’t already, especially if you haven’t made progress in therapy. So keep that in mind. Certainly, talk to a medical provider, get all of your questions answered. Look into the medications that are specifically FDA approved for OCD.

Express your concerns, ask about side effects. It’s important to know that information if you are going to take something. But you also don’t want to let OCD or anxiety about taking medication to keep you from potentially feeling better. We did an episode much earlier on medication. You can always go to our website and search for specific episodes if you go to karybach.

com and under the podcast breakdown page there’s a search bar at the top so if you want to search for specific types of therapy Or you want to search for medication, you want to search sleep, you can pull up episodes via different topics that you search for. I’d love to have you guys utilize that because it’s a great feature that we have.

But just for a quick review, we’re going to go through the five reasons you’re not progressing in your OCD recovery. You feel hopeless, your stress isn’t managed well, trauma is in the way, You haven’t learned the right tools to manage obsessions and compulsions, or you’re resistant to trying medication.

Have an amazing Thanksgiving, and I’ll be back the first week in December to talk about three ways to be mindful this Christmas season. Until next time, may you be comforted by God’s great love for you. Were you blessed by today’s episode? If so, I’d really appreciate it if you would go over to your iTunes account or Apple Podcasts app on your computer if you’re an Android person and leave us a review.

This really helps other OCD be able to find our show. Christian Faith and OCD is a production of By The Well Counseling. This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be a substitute for seeking mental health treatment in your area.

149. Writing an Alternative Story to OCD’s Default Narrative with ICBT

Written by Carrie Bock on . Posted in OCD, Podcast Episode.

In this episode, Carrie gives you an exclusive sneak peek into the upcoming Christians Learning ICBT live training launching in January. She takes you behind the scenes as she explores the process of writing alternative stories, sharing a personal experience that illustrates how she crafted an obsessional narrative and transformed it into a healthier perspective.

Episode Highlights:

  • How to rewrite your obsessional stories by crafting alternative narratives that empower you to see situations from a different perspective.
  • Practical tools to stay grounded in reality and navigate the uncertainty that OCD often magnifies.
  • Examples of stories including Carrie’s personal experience with a car accident and how she used alternative story to reshape OCD’s narrative. 
  • A sneak peek into the ICBT (Integrative Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) training modules, including a breakdown of how they can help you or someone you know struggling with OCD from a Christian perspective.

Episode Summary:

Are you tired of battling OCD? Maybe you’ve tried exposure therapy or sought help from a Christian counselor who didn’t fully understand your struggles. If that’s you, know that I’m here to support you. 

I’m thrilled to announce that starting in January, I’ll be teaching through the 12 modules of ICBT, diving into one module each week until the end of March. Can’t make the live sessions? Don’t worry! Everything will be recorded and available in an online course. If you’re even slightly interested, join the waiting list at carriebock.com/ocd.

Now, let’s talk about alternative stories. Often, the narratives we tell ourselves about our obsessions can become our default. The more we dwell on them, the more ingrained they become. But remember, your brain can change! We can rewire those patterns and explore new possibilities instead of just following the old, anxiety-ridden trails.

I’ll be sharing my own obsessional story related to a car accident Steve and I had shortly after buying a new car. While the actual event is true, my initial thoughts were full of obsessional doubts. I questioned whether I was being greedy for buying the car or if it was a sign from God. But after reflecting, I realized these thoughts were rooted in anxiety rather than reality. My faith reminds me that sometimes things happen for reasons we might not understand right away.

Through this training, we’ll learn to identify and replace those obsessional stories with healthier narratives. It’s important to understand that we’re not arguing with OCD but rather acknowledging the uncertainties in life and leaning into our faith.

I’d love for you to join us on this journey of healing and discovery. Let’s create new stories that lead us to peace and freedom from OCD.  Sign up for the waitlist today!

Explore Related Episodes:

148. Your Obsessional Story: Christians Learning ICBT coming Jan 2025! 
133. Looking for an Alternative to ERP? Find out if ICBT is Right for You

Transcript

Episode 149. Last week, I gave you a behind the scenes sneak peek into my self teaching Module 3 for our group this fall, where I taught all 12 modules of ICBT. This is happening again in January, and I want you to get on board. But today, we’re talking about Module 9, which is writing an alternative story to OCD. I can’t wait for you to hear a snippet of this training.

Hello and welcome to Christian Faith and OCD with Carrie Bock. I’m a Christ follower, wife and mother, licensed professional counselor who helps Christians struggling with OCD get to a deeper level of healing. When I couldn’t find resources for my clients with OCD, God called me to bring this podcast to you.

With practical tools for developing greater peace, we’re here to bust through the shame and stigma surrounding struggling with OCD as a Christian, sharing hopeful stories of healing and helping you replace uncertainty with faith. I’m here to help you let go of the past and future to walk in the present abundant life God has for you.

So let’s dive right in to today’s episode. Brothers and sisters in Christ, OCD warriors. Are you sick and tired of fighting with OCD? Have you tried exposure therapy or tried finding counseling from a Christian perspective and just have come up short? I know so many people have told me that they have a Christian counselor, but that person doesn’t know about OCD or they’ve gone to OCD counseling and something just didn’t feel right because the person didn’t understand their faith.

I want you to know that I’m here for you, and that’s why I’m excited to announce that in January, we’re going to be teaching through the 12 modules of ICBT. We’ve talked about ICBT in more depth in episode 119 and episode 133. I will be teaching one module per week from mid January to the end of March.

If you can’t make the live trainings, everything’s recorded and put in an online course platform for you to access. If you think you might even slightly be interested, or you’re interested in being interested in finding out more information. Please join our waiting list at kerrybach. com slash OCD. About three fourths of the way down the page, there’s an option for you to put in your name and email address.

The obsessional story does not have to be your default narrative, and you can consider an alternative story. These stories that you’ve been telling yourself have been rolling around in your brain, and like, the more that we focus on them, like, the more that they’ve grown, the more that they’ve solidified, the more that they’ve become a automatic, right?

Your brain can fire very quickly, like with all those neurons kind of wired together related to your OCD. And so much of this process has been slowing down your thought process, really slowing things down to get into like, what is the obsessional story. And so now what we’re trying to do really is rewire that pattern.

And recognize, like, okay, my brain’s default is to go down trail A. And I’m starting to retrain it to go, well, I could go down trail A, and I know where that’s going to lead. That’s going to lead to more compulsions. That’s going to lead to more anxiety. That’s going to lead to being stuck. Or I could, like, go down trail B or C, even.

And recognize, like, maybe this story that I’ve been telling myself isn’t valid. And maybe there’s an alternative story. You’re drawn in with this really believable story. It’s sensational and OCD is causing you to fear you’re going to become this version. You don’t want to be. I don’t want to be that person.

So then I do these compulsions and that obsessional doubt. It comes from the imagination and that makes it irrelevant. Not actually based on sense data of what’s happening right now. And once you cross over into that OCD bubble, remember our little bridge, it’s difficult to get out. It doesn’t feel good in there, but it doesn’t feel good outside of there, and kind of the more like you get sucked in further and further, the harder it is to get out of there.

But we can use that sensory information in the here and now to stay grounded in reality, stay on that, that different side of the bridge or to get out of the OCD bubble. Important things that we need to know that the alternative story is not the following. We’re not trying to argue with your OCD. We’re not trying to say things like, Oh, well, you know, it doesn’t look like I’m going to die because I went to the doctor last week and I got a clean bill of health and they said all my any health conditions are like managed in a healthy way, blah, blah, blah.

We’re not trying to argue back with it. It’s not to be used as a compulsion, so it’s not like, Oh, okay, OCD is telling me this story, and I’m repeating, like, compulsively the alternative story in my head. Not what we want to do there, either. It’s not really a true versus a false story, because sometimes there are uncertainties of life that we have to accept.

We don’t know, sometimes. It’s not a, oh, this is the right story and the OCD is the wrong story, or this is, like, the true narrative and the OCD is completely, like, false. We know OCD, like, the obsessional doubt, right, is based in the imagination. And so in that sense, the obsessional doubt is false and is not relevant.

Here’s what we are trying to do with the obsessional story. We’re trying to dislodge it as a default narrative, just like I was talking about before, where it’s the thing that kind of has made the loop, it’s made the rounds in the brain and like it’s become that well worn neural pathway. So we’re trying to introduce a different neural pathway into the brain so that we can say, You know, like it could be this over here.

What do we think about that? And if we’re talking about possibilities, you know, we also have to talk about if we’re going to say that that’s a possibility, then we have to open up our minds and our ideas to other potential possibilities. It’s a possibility that I could get in a car accident on the way home.

It’s also possible that I could have a normal, everyday life, you know, drive home that happens on a regular basis. You know, takes me about 15 minutes to get home. Could be just completely normal. It could be that there’s an accident on the interstate and it takes me an hour to get home. Like, there’s many different possibilities here.

When you’re writing your alternative story, as you’re going through this process, it’s a tangible OCD thing, it might feel a little bit easier to do that one, but if it feels like, okay, it’s something spiritual, or it’s something more existential, it might be, if you can write like a potentially different alternative of that story, if there’s multiple alternatives, that might be a good process for you.

For this next snippet of the training, I’m going to be going through an obsessional story that I wrote about a car accident that Steve and I got into. You may have noticed last week that when we write obsessional stories, they have reasons for the obsessional doubt. There’s a variety of those in ICBT.

rules, hearsay, personal experience, and all the way down to it’s possible, which is a pretty much catch all category because OCD tells you that anything is possible. We then spend some time examining the obsessional story and then going into the alternative story. Here’s my story about the car accident.

This first part of the story is completely true, and I wrote an obsessional piece about the next part of the story. Steve and I received some money from my parents passing away, and after some consideration, we decided to buy a newer used car. After two years of squeezing a walker, stroller, and other things into a sedan, we decided to look at a Honda CR V.

Everything went smoothly through the selection and buying process until we went out, went to pull out of the dealership lot. A man driving a truck was in a hurry. He thought I had pulled off when I had only slowly moved up to survey the traffic. He accelerated and hit us in the back. This is a now kind of a funny story about being hit on the way out of the dealership, which who does that happen to except for my crazy life.

All right. Here’s my potential obsessional story related to the accident. This part is made up. Surely, this is a sign from God that I was not supposed to buy this vehicle. Maybe I was being greedy in doing so. What if this was a sin, or God is angry at me, or punishing me in some way? There’s a whole lot of things that we could potentially break down there, but I’m going to call that the obsessional doubt.

My treasure should be in heaven according to the Bible rules. I could have spent this money on feeding starving children in Africa. That is a fact. I watched this YouTube video warning against greed and how the wrath of God is going to come on down to Americans. That’s completely made up, but we’ll call that hearsay.

And I shouldn’t have been greedy last week when I ate that piece of pie instead of offering it to my husband. Personal experience, I’m going to repeatedly repent and confess the sin of buying the car and then ruminate about whether I should sell it or not as a sign of true repentance. That’s the compulsions there.

We had gone through the potential obsessional story. These were some things that came out of it. Like felt positive about buying the car. Maybe this was some kind of like vulnerable self, like maybe it was my fault, distrust, a connection with God. And so this was what we had originally wrote, like, something bad happened.

I don’t have any evidence in the present to support this obsessional doubt that I’m a greedy person who shouldn’t have bought this car. I don’t have any spiritual sense data to support that God is upset with me. Like, I’m not sensing anything from the Holy Spirit. In fact, this decision was made prayerfully and carefully.

My recent personal experience of being greedy and the YouTube video is irrelevant to this present moment experience with the car. This is actually this last paragraph here that I’m going to share with you. The next paragraph is actually something, my genuine feelings about the car accident. And. It’s interesting because it’s very vague of like, why does God allow certain things to happen in our life?

Like, I don’t really know, you know, sometimes we don’t always have a clear answer. Sometimes we have the answer when we look backwards like, oh, like, it makes sense that I went through this because then I met that person or like, yeah, why God led me here and then here makes sense. But some things don’t always make sense like that, or we can’t always see it at the time.

I got into a car accident, I’m not really sure why God allowed it to happen right after I bought the car. I wonder if the accident was a wake up call to the guy driving the truck to be more careful. He saw our car seat and recognized that our daughter could have been in the car. This seemed to bother him.

We’re very thankful to God that no one was hurt. In faith, my daughter was not in the car. Maybe it was a reminder to me that my family is much more important than things. Maybe it was an opportunity to show grace to the other driver instead of freaking out on him as he expected us to do. I understand that i’m not going to have all the answers and this gives me the opportunity to trust god in face day by day.

And obviously, you know, this was not a huge issue. Everything got fixed, you know resolved and it’s fine And we didn’t have to pay for it because it wasn’t our fault. But you know when we go through situations in life Um, you may have been through something a lot bigger where you might be questioning like some of these things like why Is God allowing this to happen or you could even be having this thought process maybe about your OCD?

You want to think through like going back to that acceptance piece that we were talking about earlier The piece that I’m having to accept in the uncertainty is I’m not going to have all the answers or I’m not going to understand everything that happens in my life. And that may be something in a mindful space that’s really hard to sit with.

Just like if you’re having an obsession about death, it may be really hard to sit with not knowing when that’s coming. Or if you’re having an obsession about Something spiritual and maybe there are some things that people get stuck on spiritually start obsessing about like Calvinism versus Arminianism is one of them that people can get really stuck on or how do we explain some of these things that happened in the Old Testament where the Israelites were told to wipe other people out?

Like how do we reconcile with our faith and who God is? When you look at all those things, like, there has to be this level of acceptance of faith, and that faith, I like to say, faith requires faith. So, it means that there is some element of trusting God outside of yourself, and that you’re not going to have all of the answers, or understand everything.

I wanted you to hear the connection between the obsessional story, and the alternative story. However, in ICBT, these two are taught weeks apart as the obsessional story is module three and the alternative narrative is module nine. In between, we’re learning a lot more information about how to stay grounded in reality instead of moving towards the imaginary outcomes that OCD is telling you will happen.

I would love, love, love for you to come and join us. There is going to be a huge Black Friday sale on these trainings happening in January from mid January through the end of March. Please go to karybach. com slash OCD to get on the waiting list and you’ll receive all the information about ICBT, these trainings, and the sale.

Until next time, may you be comforted by God’s great love for you. Were you blessed by today’s episode? If so, I’d really appreciate it if you would go over to your iTunes account or Apple Podcasts app on your computer if you’re an Android person and leave us a review. This really helps other Christians who are struggling with OCD be able to find our show.

Christian Faith and OCD is a production of By The Well Counseling. This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be a substitute for seeking mental health treatment in your area.

148. Your Obsessional Story: Christians Learning ICBT coming Jan 2025! 

Written by Carrie Bock on . Posted in OCD, Podcast Episode.

In this episode, Carrie takes you behind the scenes of one of her ICBT training sessions, which she designed specifically for Christians dealing with OCD. She shares a snippet of Module Three, exploring how OCD weaves compelling narratives that can draw you in and offers guidance on rewriting those narratives to gain a deeper understanding of OCD’s mechanisms.

Episode Highlights:

  • The power of stories: How OCD creates vivid, relatable narratives that captivate our attention.
  • The importance of self-awareness in recognizing and rewriting your obsessional story.
  • Common pitfalls of telling ourselves negative stories and the role of shame in our experiences with OCD.
  • Exploring the concept of obsessional doubt through relatable examples.
  • Writing alternative stories as a method for reframing experiences and perceptions.
  • And more about what’s inside the Christians Learning ICBT live training, including practical tools and resources to deepen your understanding and application of these concepts.

Episode Summary:

I’m Carrie Bock—a counselor, Christ follower, wife, and mom. I’m here to help Christians facing OCD find healing through faith. Today, I want to share a bit about my ICBT (Intensive Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) training, focusing on Module 3, where we learn to recognize and rewrite those pesky obsessional stories that OCD throws at us.

Feeling Stuck with OCD?

If you’re tired of battling OCD on your own or have tried exposure therapy without much success, I understand! Starting in January, I’m launching a 12-week course where we’ll go through each ICBT module together, wrapping up in March. If you can’t join live, don’t worry—you’ll get access to all the recordings!

Join the Waiting List!

Interested? Sign up for our waiting list at carriebockcom/OCD. Together, we can transform your relationship with OCD in 2025!

Let’s Talk About Stories

We all have narratives that shape our lives, influenced by our past and our beliefs about God. It’s important to ask: Are these stories coming from God or from our fears?

OCD is great at creating emotional stories that can feel very real. Think about how a gripping movie can make you feel intense emotions, even if it’s just a story. That’s how OCD works—it hijacks our thoughts and feelings.

For example, if I tell you about an “amazing” pen found in a sketchy place, your feelings about that pen would change based on the story. This shows how changing our narratives can change our perceptions.

Rewriting Your Obsessional Stories

Today, I’ll help you recognize and reframe those obsessional stories. Instead of getting stuck in doubt, we can challenge those thoughts and find clarity.

Tune in to the full episode to learn practical tips for identifying your obsessional narratives and rewriting them in a way that aligns with the abundant life God wants for you. Let’s start this journey of healing together!

Explore Related Episode:

133. Looking for an Alternative to ERP? Find out if ICBT is Right for You

Transcript

Hello, do you love going behind the scenes? Well, today I am taking you behind the scenes to one of the ICBT training sessions that I did this fall on module three. Module three is all about how OCD draws you in with a really good story and then teaches you how to write your obsessional story to become more aware Of how OCD works and gets you drawn in.

Hello and welcome to Christian Faith and OCD with Carrie Bach. I’m a Christ follower wife and mother licensed professional counselor who helps Christian struggling with OCD get to a deeper level of healing. I couldn’t find resources for my clients with OCD. God called me to bring this podcast to you.

With practical tools for developing greater peace, we’re here to bust through the shame and stigma surrounding struggling with OCD as a Christian, sharing hopeful stories of healing and helping you replace uncertainty with faith. I’m here to help you let go of the past and future to walk in the present abundant life God has for you.

So let’s dive right into today’s episode. Brothers and sisters in Christ, OCD warriors. Are you sick and tired of fighting with OCD? Have you tried exposure therapy or tried finding counseling from a Christian perspective and just have come up short? I know so many people have told me that they have a Christian counselor but that person doesn’t know about OCD or they’ve gone to OCD counseling and something just didn’t feel right because the person didn’t understand their faith.

I want you to know that I’m here for you, and that’s why I’m excited to announce that in January, we’re going to be teaching through the 12 modules of ICBT. We talked about ICBT in more depth in episode 119 and episode 133. I will be teaching one module per week from mid January to the end of March. If you can’t make the live trainings, everything’s recorded and put in an online course platform for you to access.

If you think you might even slightly be interested, or you’re interested in being interested in finding out more information. Please join our waiting list at kerrybach. com slash OCD. About three fourths of the way down the page, there’s an option for you to put in your name and email address. Let me help you have a different relationship with OCD in 2025.

Today we’re talking about stories, the obsessional story. As I started to think about this obsessional story process, I thought, we tell ourselves stories all the time, right? And it’s not always an OCD story. We go through life, we have experiences, and we interpret them, and we tell ourself a story based on our past experience, based on other things that we’ve heard, based on what we know about God and scripture.

It’s not just about OCD. It is, that’s what we’re here to talk about and have a better relationship with, but just noticing, like, When you have experiences, what are you telling yourself? Are you telling yourself the shoulds? I should have done better, known better, been better, whatever. Are you telling yourself, yeah, you know, you should have expected that to happen because it happened in the past?

Uh, you know, a trauma story of, yep, you know, there you go again, experiencing this. Just kind of be aware of that. So, you are, as a Christian, tasked with not trusting everything that you see or hear, but really testing and seeing, is this coming from God or is this from falsehood? So, our main ideas are that OCD draws you in with a good storyline.

And that awareness of that storyline is the first step to changing it. I like to say that OCD has like these lifetime movie versions that they tell you. It’s so vivid. Sometimes you can see it happening. There’s a lot of intense emotions that goes along with it. Just thinking about stories in general, I put this little Incredible Hulk guy on here.

They draw us in with a certain level of emotion. Stories are believable or relatable. Even though we’ve never seen a guy turn into this giant green man and start destroying something. We feel related to this story because we’ve all had anger in our lives. Maybe we’ve been destructive at different points and he doesn’t want this to happen.

It just is something that kind of takes over him and happens. So even though you look at Marvel comics and things, there’s lots of stuff happening or people being able to control time or see all of the outcomes, right? That’s one of the characters, I guess, can see all the potential outcomes that could happen and people are flying and different things happening, but they’re, it.

Some of the core storylines, the characters, we really relate to them, we feel for them. I wasn’t really into a whole lot of these movies, and I went with one of my friends, and people were just, like, wanting to go see Endgame, and people were just crying in the theater, right? Like, these are characters, you know, they’re not real, but we are drawn in and we feel something, and that’s what makes a good story, right?

Like, that’s a really good story that draws you in. There’s some kind of outcome or ending to them. So there are some factual elements that can be woven in even to OCD stories. All right, now for a story about my pen. This is a pen that I have in my office. It’s a purple pen. I like the color purple. So let’s say that if you were in the office and I was like, Hey, do you want to write with this pen?

You probably would say, Sure, why not? Like, I don’t know, it looks like a good pen, it clicks, it works, you know, I’ll tell you, yeah, it writes really well, I like it. So you probably would feel okay with this pen, unless you like had major contamination and you were like, no, I don’t touch other people’s stuff, that type of stuff, and then you might be like, I’m not sure about that.

But if I could tell you a story about this pen, where And I said, yeah, this is a really great pen and I want to tell you the story of how I got this pen. I mean, I didn’t just get this pen at the store. I was out in, you know, the park and there was a pile of dog poop and I noticed this pin sticking out and I thought, oh, that pen looks like it would write really good if I cleaned it up or hey, my favorite color is purple.

I think i’ll take that pen and I took it out of the dog poop and I washed it off and I Clorox wiped. It’s fine. Everything’s good. It’s all right. Like I mean, what’s the problem? Do you notice feeling any differently about wanting to hold the pen now versus when I first started talking to you about it?

Most people, when I tell them the story, are then like, Oh, that’s gross. Like I’m not touching that pen. You know, who does that? But the point is, what changed? Did the pen actually change, or did we just change the story about the pen? And then when we changed the story about the pen, that caused us to feel differently about it.

Not only your five senses, which do get distrusted at times in OCD, but internal sense data. What do you really want? And how do you know that? Like, I can say, just random example, like, I really want pizza for dinner. Like, how do I know that? I’ve been just craving pizza, I like pizza, whatever. I’m just making stuff up as we go along, right?

But really being able to tune into your own emotional experience or your own desires is really important. I’ve talked to people before OCD will make you feel like you have an urge to do something but an internal like urge or pull towards something is not the same thing as a desire is actually wanting to do that.

So that may be something that you have to tease out in your own story and then what you actually value or believe. Jenny’s obsessional story goes like this. My husband didn’t kiss me this morning before he left for work. That is a true statement. That did really happen to her. But now this obsessional doubt injures then, what if he has fallen out of love with me?

I mean, Sally is going through a divorce right now and her husband just left her out of nowhere. That’s the hearsay evidence. Just because it happened to Sally doesn’t mean it’ll happen to Jenny. But that’s what OCD wants her to believe that it will. My ex boyfriend did something similar. Personal experience.

OCD feels like it’s really like, hey, I’ve really got some evidence here for you. I read an article about how if your man doesn’t kiss you before you leave the house, that is one sign he’s out the door. He could be cheating on me. It’s possible. Now we’ve got like, you know, almost like another obsessional doubt coming in there, right?

Like, oh, what if he’s cheating? People leave and get divorces all the time. Yeah, I really can’t argue with that fact. Um, What if I’m next? I couldn’t handle it. Consequences of obsessional doubt. This piece, like, of not being able to handle it, that kind of dips the toe into the water of the feared self theme.

You may be saying, like, Oh, well, that’s a nice story carry. Now what do I do with it? Just remember that you’re still in the phases of building awareness. We’re not necessarily intervening right now, but if you can intervene, or you may pick up on like, oh, now that I pick up on that OCD, I’m not gonna give into it as much as I would have before.

I’m not gonna entertain it like I would have in the past. So just kind of be aware of that piece coming down the pike. All right, talking about having a shameful thought, maybe it’s a sexual or blasphemy thought, and then like, oh, that goes into, I shouldn’t be having this as a Christian. What does this mean?

What if this means I’m not a good Christian or don’t love God? And I think I stuck with the don’t love God, because obviously some of these could be going a lot of different directions, right? And then these are some of the things that I’m, the potential consequences that I’m calling myself. What if I don’t love God?

Well, not everyone does. That’s a fact. Rules, you know, take your thoughts captive. Watch the things that come into your mind that you think about. Lots of information on that in various places. Spiritual guidance, pastors, teachers, authors, podcasts, so much, so much information out there now. Personal experience of maybe what a former church taught and then anything possible according to OCD.

So let’s look at this obsessional story. So I have these intrusive sexual thoughts. It’s a fact. I can’t change that. What if I don’t really love God and that’s why I have these thoughts? So that would be our obsessional doubt that we stuck with for this example, but it could have gone, as you see, there were other obsessional doubts.

And so whichever one you choose, that probably is going to take the story a little bit different in a direction. That’s okay. That’s what my previous church said. hearsay. I have to rebuke this thought in the name of Jesus. That’s a compulsion. I have to take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ.

That is true according to the Bible. When I was addicted to pornography, I was dwelling on thoughts I shouldn’t. That would be a personal experience. And if I don’t win the battle of my mind, I’m giving the enemy a foothold. The consequences of the doubt. So some of you may be, um, a little bit overwhelmed too on, okay, Carrie, I have a lot of different obsessions.

What do I write my obsessional story on? I’m going to give you some guidance. Sometimes, very occasionally, the anxiety about writing the obsessional story or seeing it out like Just out there can be super super high for certain themes So I would say if that’s the case We’re really in the interest of you learning the process right now, right?

If that’s the case if it is too anxiety provoking I mean like gonna give you a panic attack is what i’m trying to say Not to say that writing obsessional stories shouldn’t cause you any anxiety But if you’re like panicking trying to write your obsessional story You Maybe try working on something that is either a past experience, like it’s not bothering you now, but it did in the past, just so that you can learn and process it and sit with it, or picking something that is still an obsession, but it’s a lower level, like not going to send you into a panic.

And then once you feel like you have the flow of what you’re writing and the process of putting those pieces together, then that is going to help you be able to. probably sit with the harder one. Even if we have multiple stories, the feared self or vulnerable self theme is going to run between those stories.

So they’re going to be similar. A lot of times there is a common thread and that’s going to be your common thread. So if you do end up like writing a couple stories, if you feel inclined to do that. I wouldn’t literally like write more than two. I mean, remember, we’re not wanting to like obsess about treatment.

So if you wrote a couple stories and kind of compared them, I was like, Oh, okay. Like there should be some type of overlap or pattern that you’re seeing. Rely, whether it’s, hey, I’m seeing in both of these stories that I’m really relying on hearsay evidence, or I’m seeing in both of these stories that I’m really relying on past personal experience that may be related to my trauma, or I’m noticing it’s like the same exact personal experience, even though the themes may be different for you.

And you would want to look at like, okay, what can I glean from this? What’s the pattern here? Because obviously you’re not wanting, like I said, if you have a lot of different themes, you’re not wanting to run the gamut for every single thing in your life. You don’t want to have to do this, I guess, is what I’m trying to say for every single thing.

And usually information like this will generalize. So, recognize that you only got about 12 minutes of a 50 minute training. Obviously this was not intended to be comprehensive, but just to give you a snippet and a sneak peek inside the training and the examples that I use to help people understand the concept.

mindfulness, a prayer. There’s a scripture verse for every week. And we dive into the lesson, and all of that is so intentional so that we can put our mind, heart, and spirit in alignment and in the right place. We’ve had some amazing question and answer times in the beginning and end, so know that you completely have the freedom to ask questions.

People will type them in the chat or they will email me privately and I can answer it publicly. So there, even if you aren’t able to attend live, there’s still opportunities to ask questions so that you can really get in there and apply these materials. Next week we’re going behind the scenes again to talk through writing alternative stories and I’m going to share a true experience that happened to me, how I wrote an obsessional story about it, I did make up that part, and then what a potential alternative story would be.

Definitely tune in for part two next week. Until next time, may you be comforted by God’s great love for you. Were you blessed by today’s episode? If so, I’d really appreciate it if you would go over to your iTunes account or Apple Podcasts app on your computer if you’re an Android person and leave us a review.

This really helps other Christians who are struggling with OCD be able to find our show. Christian Faith and OCD is a production of By The Well Counseling. This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be a substitute for seeking mental health treatment in your area.

147. Does Talking About OCD Make It Worse?: 3 Reasons Why

Written by Carrie Bock on . Posted in Counseling, OCD, Podcast Episode.

In this episode, Carrie delves into the reasons why talking about OCD can sometimes exacerbate the condition. She discusses how reassurance-seeking, co-rumination, and the urge to “go deep” can create unhealthy cycles that hinder healing. 

Episode Highlights:

  • The harmful cycle where temporary relief from anxiety can lead to increased obsessive thoughts and compulsions.
  • Why traditional talk therapies may be ineffective for OCD and can sometimes reinforce compulsive behaviors.
  • How to identify when OCD is influencing your thoughts and behaviors, enabling you to take proactive steps towards healing.
  • Discover practical strategies for staying grounded in the present moment, which is essential for overcoming OCD and resisting its narratives.

Episode Summary:

Welcome to Christian Faith and OCD! I’m Carrie Bock, a Christ follower, wife, mother, and licensed professional counselor dedicated to helping Christians struggling with OCD find deeper healing.

In today’s episode, I’m exploring whether talking about OCD can actually make it worse, sharing three key reasons why it might. As a therapist, I naturally see value in discussing problems, but when it comes to OCD, traditional talk therapies often fall short. Many people mistake their symptoms for general anxiety, spending sessions sharing worries without finding lasting relief. Here’s why this approach may not work and what we can do instead..

Here are three reasons why:

  • Reassurance Seeking: Repeatedly asking for validation to ease anxiety may offer temporary relief, but it reinforces the OCD cycle, causing obsessions to resurface.
  • Co-Rumination: Constantly discussing worries, especially about unsolvable issues, can deepen distress and worsen OCD symptoms.
  • Going Deep: Trying to understand issues at a deeper level often leads to obsessive thinking instead of grounding you in the present.

Tune in to learn more about these traps and how to avoid them. For additional support, head to carriebock.com/OCD

Explore Related Resources:

5 Ways Therapy Can Make OCD Worse

Transcript

Episode 147. Does talking about OCD make it worse? Let’s find out. I’m going to give you three reasons why.

Hello, and welcome to Christian Faith and OCD with Keri Bach. I’m a Christ follower, wife and mother, licensed professional counselor who helps Christians struggling with OCD get to a deeper level of healing. When I couldn’t find resources for my clients with OCD, God called me to bring this podcast to you with practical tools for developing greater peace.

We’re here to bust through the shame and stigma surrounding struggling with OCD as a Christian, sharing hopeful stories of healing and helping you replace uncertainty with faith. I’m here to help you let go of the past and future to walk in the present abundant life God has for you. So let’s dive right in to today’s episode.

If you are like me, you like talking through problems. I mean, hello, I’m a therapist, obviously I do this on a regular basis. I’m However, not just with clients talking through their problems, but if I have my own problems, a lot of times I’m going to friends or family members or other people to really try to sort through things, talk it out, and figure things out.

Here’s where we run into problems with OCD though, and this is why traditional talk type therapies don’t work with OCD. There are lots of people who don’t realize they have OCD, think they have anxiety. Go to a therapist to talk about all the things they’re anxious about. And next thing you know, they’re in therapy, they feel a little bit better, they leave, they don’t feel any better.

And they repeat this cycle week after week after week, like, hey, here’s what’s going on with me this week, this is what I’m worried about, it’s what’s bothering me. The therapist provides them some type of solution based or thought challenging or reassurance, and then it doesn’t ever seem to help. That’s why this topic is so important.

The first reason talking about OCD can make it worse is Reassurance seeking. This is a really common one with OCD, right? You have a question, you really want to ask your therapist, or your spouse, or your friend, do you think that I’m a horrible person, or did I offend you, or is this object clean, what do you think?

Reassurance seeking is a compulsion. I know it is super hard to not ask for reassurance sometimes, but it’s important to try to hold off if you can, because the reassurance seeking only continues and reinforces that OCD cycle in your brain, where you have an obsession, then there’s some anxiety. There’s a compulsion, and there’s temporary relief.

People seek reassurance because it works, they do get some relief from it, but then the next thing you know, they are becoming anxious again because the obsession just goes right back. And sometimes you may feel like the obsession comes back even stronger. I feel like we could do an entire episode on reassurance seeking, but I’m going to spare you that for right now.

If you think you might be reassurance seeking, you can ask yourself to evaluate, Am I feeling this urge to get this information? And do I feel like if I get that information, there’s going to be some internal calm or slight relief from this anxiety? That’s a good indicator because you may have gotten really sneaky about how you’re asking for reassurance.

It doesn’t always sound as direct as, is this object clean, or have I offended you or upset you in some way. The second reason talking about OCD can make it worse is that you may be participating in co rumination. I have a confession to make. I was working with a client who had some scrupulosity obsessions about a variety of different issues related to Christianity and the Bible.

I was receiving some supervision, so I was talking with another OCD counselor about how can I help this client better? What are we doing? It just doesn’t seem to be working. And she completely called me out on it in a very nice and loving way and said, you are co ruminating with this client because these issues are so important to you and you see that and so you want to talk about these things.

And I was like, oh my goodness, you know, sometimes you don’t even see what you’re doing and you need someone else to point it out to you. You might be co ruminating with someone if you were trying to solve a level of uncertainty. that we have to sit with. So I’ll give you an example. If you’re really stuck on whether or not God created the earth in seven literal days or periods of time, and you’re scouring over all this evidence for the seven day creation versus the, hey, the word for day means period of time, and so I don’t know, was it, how do we have a literal day when we don’t have the planets yet?

All very interesting and philosophical questions, certainly things that Steve and I have talked about, have talked about with other people, but in those conversations, we don’t have a high level of distress over this. We’re just saying, this is an interesting topic and there’s different views on it, obviously.

If you are spending a large amount of time trying to figure something like that out that’s not solvable, Because it requires a certain level of faith, you might be co ruminating with someone. If you have talked someone to death about the same topic and haven’t come to a resolution about it, you might be co ruminating with that person, or another person’s response might be like, I have no idea why you’re stuck on this, it really doesn’t matter that much to them, but to you, it feels like I have to resolve this, or otherwise that means I don’t know, whatever you’re saying that it means, that you don’t have enough faith or you’re not sure if you can love God unless you understand all of these different nuances of things that occurred in the Old Testament.

Reassurance seeking, co ruminating can be very sneaky. You may not realize you’re doing it, your friends and family may not realize you’re doing it. You can see how reassurance seeking and co ruminating can become really problematic in therapy Obviously, we’re here to talk with you about things, but there also has to be some kind of strategy behind it, and often redirection, for you to notice when you’re in the OCD bubble.

I’ve had clients where I’ve spent a lot of time helping them recognize that what they were dealing with was OCD. Because there may have been a level of lack of insight, just feeling like they’re ruminating about these things all the time and thinking, like, this is my own thought process versus OCD has gotten you completely down an unhealthy rabbit hole.

The third reason why talking about OCD can make it work is a trick that OCD will play on you called going deep. Going deep is where you feel like you just have to understand something more at a deeper level. This may cause a lot of research, but it may also be connected to these other two that we talked about, reassurance seeking and corruminating, because you may be talking to other people trying to gain more understanding. Like, “if I just understand everything there is to know about germs, then I will be able to keep myself safe and not get sick. If I really understand these deep theological issues then that means I will feel more secure in my salvation or relationship with God.” Going deep doesn’t work because it actually just moves you farther and farther into the OCD instead of grounding you back in reality.

This is what we’re trying to do in ICBT is keep you connected to the present moment experience instead of the narrative that OCD is telling you is happening right now or what OCD is telling you is going to happen in the future. There’s a distinct difference, and the more that you understand what we call the tricks and cheats of OCD, the The more that you understand your own obsessional story that OCD is crafting for you, the better that you can do in staying in reality and trusting your sensory experience.

If you want to know more about that, our next ICBT Learning Sessions for Christians will be starting in January. Getting on our email list is the absolute best way to do that, and you can also join the waiting list at karybach. com slash OCD. Can I tell you a secret about our next learning sessions?

They’re going on sale in November. Okay, it’s not a secret. The cat’s out of the bag now. But in all seriousness, the only way to find out about the November sale for the January Learning Sessions is to get on the waitlist. So there will be information to our email subscribers about that and you can go to carriebock.com/OCD.

Until next time, may you be comforted by God’s great love for you. Were you blessed by today’s episode? If so, I’d really appreciate it if you would go over to your iTunes account or Apple Podcasts app on your computer if you’re an Android person and leave us a review. This really helps other OCD be able to find our show.

Christian Faith and OCD is a production of By The Well Counseling. This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be a substitute for seeking mental health treatment in your area.

146. One Step to Make a Change

Written by Carrie Bock on . Posted in OCD, Podcast Episode.

In this episode, Carrie discusses the importance of making manageable changes in life, especially for those struggling with OCD and anxiety. Learn how starting small can lead to significant transformations as she shares personal stories and practical tips.

Episode Highlights:

  • The power of starting small and setting manageable goals for transformation.
  • How seeking God’s guidance can help clarify your path and provide direction in times of uncertainty.
  • How slowing down can help you recognize those OCD thoughts before they spiral out of control.
  • Practical tips for incorporating mindfulness and self-reflection into your routine.
  • Insights on how small changes can create a ripple effect in various areas of life.
  • Strategies for overcoming feelings of overwhelm and stagnation.

Episode Summary:

I’m Carrie Bock, a Christ follower, wife, mother, and licensed professional counselor dedicated to helping Christians struggling with OCD find deeper healing. 

It’s easy to fall into the trap of believing we must overhaul our lives overnight. I’ve been there—feeling overwhelmed and stuck, particularly when trying to make health changes. The key is to start small.

As I thought about the small changes I’ve asked my clients to make over the years, I wanted to share some ideas that might inspire you. I had a client years ago who was super stressed and driven at work. They had so much responsibility and anxiety, and I taught them some breathing strategies to help them relax. When I suggested they take time to breathe deeply, they responded, “I don’t have time for this!”

I said, “Okay, here’s what I want you to do. Can you commit to taking three deep breaths before getting out of the car?”

I also faced challenges organizing my home office. With a coach’s help, I broke the task into manageable steps and realized the importance of starting small. This approach not only eases anxiety but also creates momentum for further change, which is crucial for those dealing with OCD.

We need to learn to break things down into smaller steps and understand the ripple effect of doing so. You take one step, and then you realize you can take another, and then another. I’m reminded of how God’s word says that His word is a lamp to our feet and a light to our path, guiding us without revealing the entire route.

More Episodes to Listen to:

112. Finding Motivation to Finish with Carrie Bock, LPC-MHSP

Transcript

Episode 146. What is your one step to making a change in your life?

Hello and welcome to Christian Faith and OCD with Carrie Bock. I’m a Christ follower, wife and mother, a licensed professional counselor who helps Christians struggling with OCD get to a deeper level of healing. When I couldn’t find resources for my clients with OCD, God called me to bring this podcast to you. With practical tools for developing greater peace. We’re here to bust through the shame and stigma surrounding struggling with OCD as a Christian, sharing hopeful stories of healing and helping you replace uncertainty with faith. I’m here to help you let go of the past and future to walk in the present abundant life God has for you.

So let’s dive right into today’s episode. Happy October. I hope that you are enjoying all the fun things that fall has to bring. Here on the podcast we are doing a very special giveaway in October. We are going to be giving away a 100 gift card to Amazon for anyone who is an email subscriber to the list and who rates and reviews our show on iTunes.

There will be full instructions for entering the giveaway in our show notes, because I don’t want to take up too much time here. You can always reach us for further information at kerrybach. com slash podcast. Let’s talk about how people usually approach changes, making changes in their life. Typically goes with some all or nothing thinking, and you know we’ve all been guilty of this. Like, I have to do all the things all at once, I have to change everything, have a completely new life by Friday, I’m gonna reach for my entire schedule, I’m actually gonna get up early and I’m gonna eat right, exercise, throw out all the carbs. Have no sugar in the house, run a mile, read that entire book that I’ve been wanting to read, and spend five straight hours organizing my house.

Does that sound completely unrealistic when I say it back to you, but any of you find that familiar? I know that I’ve been in that space before where I want to do so much, and I want to accomplish so much in such a short amount of time. When we’re looking at making changes in our lives, we have to start small.

What happens when we see a huge task or huge area that we need to change, like our physical health or our mental health, the tendency is to feel overwhelmed and then frozen when it comes to making changes, so we end up doing nothing. Honestly, this has just happened to me recently in a couple areas, which partially was why I thought about doing this episode.

I was feeling really stuck trying to lose weight and had made some dietary changes. I was doing walking workouts, Pilates, different YouTube workouts that I found on a regular basis and I was like, okay, well, I’m in this rhythm of working out, I’m trying to watch what I eat, trying to eat more protein, less carbs, but not be super strict or religious about it.

And I went to the doctor and said, this weight loss thing is just really not going anywhere. I’m trying. I’m making the efforts. Here’s what I’m doing. And she said, I think you need to change your workouts. I was like, duh, why didn’t I think of that? I mean, I’ve been working out for years. Like, I understand the concepts of how this works, but it was something that I needed somebody else to say to me, like, make things a little bit harder on yourself because you’ve gotten used to what you’re doing and it’s a little too easy for you and your body’s not being stretched as much. So I decided, how am I going to motivate myself to work out, first of all, with something a little harder? And the best that I could come up with was let’s make it fun.

Let’s make it something that I want to do. So I got a miniature trampoline, partially because I’ve been watching my daughter jump on hers, and that looks super fun. But hers is a kid’s size, so I would break it if I got on it. I got a miniature trampoline. And I also thought back to what were some of the workouts that I really enjoyed when I was going to group exercise classes.

Now, it’s been quite a while, like pre COVID, since I’ve been to any group exercise classes. But there was a step class that I did when I lived in Colorado. And the gym I went to had, like, over a hundred classes a week. It was amazing. Never found anywhere else quite like that. But they had this step class on Monday nights that they got rid of because there were only about five of us in there and replaced it with some horrid boot camp class where the guy literally wore an army hat and yelled at people.

I thought, that looks terrible, I don’t want to do that. Side note. Back when I was in my twenties at this time and I was doing this step workout, which makes me sound just like an old person, old soul, I guess, but I thought, you know what? I’m going to get a step. I’m going to buy a step and I am going to do some step workouts at home.

So I found some online. I really enjoy it. It’s may not be everybody’s thing, but I enjoy it because it actually makes me have to think while I’m working out. And the thinking part makes me forget how much I’m actually sweating and feeling like I’m gonna die because it’s hard and I’m not as agile and I don’t move quite as fast as I did when I was in my 20s.

But the point is, I was stuck. I was feeling discouraged, and I don’t know what to do. And someone else said, Hey, here’s how you can make a change. Try something different. Well, the other thing I found out about the trampoline workouts is that if you jump for 20 minutes on a trampoline, it is equivalent of running for 60 minutes.

And I thought, Hey! More bang for your buck there. I like that 20 minutes versus 60 sounds good to me now If you ever jumped on a trampoline for 20 minutes, I cannot do that much right away. It is a lot Working my way up on that but the trampoline workouts They have you jump a little bit and then sometimes you do other things like get off and do abs or lift weights or other things Like that, so they’re good.

They’re fun And the only reason that I have a regular workout routine is because I have decided to take time to get up before my family members get up. Fortunately, they are both pretty heavy sleepers, so when I’m, like, stepping up and down or bouncing around on the trampoline, they’re not waking up.

Just super nice. The only reason I am able to get up before the rest of my family and have this time early in the morning is because I made a decision to go to bed earlier. What I’m trying to show you is that each of these little changes built on each other, the going to bed earlier, if I am typically asleep by 10 p.m. at night, I’m at least in the bed by 10 p. m. at night for sure, would love to be asleep by then, and I get up somewhere around 5, 5. 30. And that gives me time to work out and get a shower and a few days a week before the family gets up. And then other days I do more meditative activities in the morning and read and things like that.

It has definitely been a process. I did not become a morning person overnight. I did not just decide to stay up till whenever and then set my alarm for 5 a. m. The process of going to bed earlier then started naturally waking up earlier and I don’t have to set an alarm. Usually my body will just be done sleeping and wake me up and that feels really, really good to me.

So I never thought that I would be that morning type of person. I’ve always liked sleep and like to just lay in the bed. But lately, it’s been just a real gift to get up before everybody else and take that time for self care and for spiritual renewal, time to pray and connect with God as well. Another area of my life I was feeling literally frozen in.

I was organizing my bonus space upstairs. I have my little office space. I did organize quite a bit of that to get it to a functional level. But I have things that I took from the attic of the old house that I never had time really to go through and sort. And a lot of it was things I needed to get rid of, trash, give away and purge declutter and I got going on that process but got to a point where it just felt so big and I was getting down to more organizational pieces of I don’t know if you’re like this at all but I have bins and I have containers and I have little like drawer divide I have all these like organizational Things, a file organizer, and I don’t always know how to get the stuff in the bins or the organizing like in a way that makes functional sense.

So realizing that since we have a much smaller attic here and I can’t put all of this stuff in the attic. I have room for it for storage in the bonus space, but just figuring out how I’m even storing it was a challenge. And I was like, I don’t think that I have the right furniture, shelving, space, organizational materials that I need, even though I have all this stuff.

And I got together with someone else who I’m going through some business and personal life coaching with. It’s like a little bit about managing your personal home life, time, and managing your business, and how those two intersect, for sure, for moms. So I went to her and said, Here’s my problem with my bonus room, and I’m pretty stuck.

And she was able to get me unstuck and say, Hey, I want you to organize everything. Just put it in piles. All the like items. I want to have part of this as my workout space up here, but I’ve been working out downstairs. She said, okay, put all of your workout stuff in one area. Put all of the things that you need to store in another area.

Make sure all of your office stuff is in the office. And I was like, okay. I can do that. I feel like that is a much more doable way to break things down for myself into smaller steps. I ended up working on it on a rainy weekend that we had where I couldn’t really go anywhere and do anything. We stayed indoors and Faith came upstairs with me to hang out, play with her stuff that’s up here.

I was able to find two more bags of items to donate and threw away one and a half bags worth of trash. It’s not 100 percent yet, but it’s getting there. At least there’s movement. There’s progress. We have to learn how to break things down into smaller steps for ourselves and then understand that the ripple effect happens after that.

So you do one thing and then you’re like, Oh, I can do that. And then you do the next thing and then you do the next step. And I just think about how God’s word says that his word is a lamp to our feet and a light to our path. It’s so that we can see where we’re going. God guides us. But he doesn’t always give us the whole path.

Sometimes he does give us visions of the future. And it’s interesting because sometimes God will show you something like, okay, I believe the Lord wants me to do this. And I’m wrestling with one of those things right now. I’m like, okay, God, I believe that there’s some calling to do this, but I’m not really sure the middle part, like, I don’t really know how I’m going to get there, but all I really need to know is the next step.

God gives you that next step, and as you follow him in obedience, then he will give you the next step. Like the light will still be in front of you. It’s like this in movement towards behavior changes in our life. You’re not going to be able to wake up tomorrow and run a marathon. You have to figure out how to not even run your first mile, I mean, your first quarter of a mile, if you’re not a runner at all, and then your first half a mile, and then you can run three quarters of a mile, and then maybe you can run a mile, and learning that process and rhythm, I’m not a marathon runner, so I wouldn’t know, but I imagine it takes some time to become a marathon runner.

You don’t just do that. We live in such a microwave society that we want it all right now. I can flip through a bunch of videos on my phone and just swipe up if I don’t like part of it. And that’s not how change happens in our life. It’s not that quick, fast dopamine hit. Sometimes things take time to grow and nourish and develop.

I started to think about the small changes. that my clients have made or that I’ve asked clients to make in the past. And it’s been super interesting for me to go back and make this list for you, but I thought it might give some of you some ideas about what is your one step towards change. So I had a client, this was many years ago, Super high stressed, I’m very driven at work, had a lot of responsibilities, and I was trying to help this person relax because they had a lot of anxiety, and I was teaching some breathing strategies, like, okay, let’s really do some deep breathing together, focus on calming down your body, and he says to me, I don’t have time.

I don’t have time for this. I don’t have time to deep breathe. I’ve got too much going on and I said, okay, okay, here’s what I want you to do. Do you think that you could just make a commitment to yourself to take three deep breaths before you get out of the car and go to work? Is that manageable for you?

Do you think you could do that? Yeah, I think I can do that. And I don’t know what he thought I was asking him to do. Maybe he thought I was asking him to deep breathe for ten minutes or something like that originally. Maybe that was why there was some pushback. But what was interesting, the ripple effect of this starting point of taking three deep breaths before going into work eventually became You know what?

I decided yesterday that I was going to leave work and go take a lunch break and I went and took my lunch break and I didn’t think about work or get caught up in any work responsibilities. Wow! That’s incredible. And then slowly starting to develop more and more work life balance and work life boundaries.

Leaving work at work. Being able to have a personal life being able to enjoy time outside of work. It took a while It was a process, but what I want you guys to know is it started with those three deep breaths before work That’s where it started. It was small. It was incremental. It was manageable It was something that he felt like he could commit to Oftentimes we try to make commitments initially that are too big And then we get frustrated when we fail, or it doesn’t go as smoothly as we wanted it to, and then we give up.

Versus saying, let me set myself up for success and pick something small and manageable that I know I can do. I’ve had several clients that my first OCD treatment was, you need to stop Googling. Some of them were very new to the OCD diagnosis and didn’t realize how the Googling was a compulsion, how that impacted them, and if they were able to not Google, or if they recognized, Hey, I didn’t Google yesterday and I ended up feeling a whole lot better versus I noticed the day that I did.

I spent a lot of time on it and really got sucked down this rabbit hole to an unhealthy place. Clients who have a really hard time being in the present moment, either because they’re disconnecting due to trauma, dissociation. Maybe they’re having a really hard time sitting with their emotions or body sensations in the moment.

I said, Hey, why don’t you just try a mindful moment? One minute of mindfulness doesn’t have to be a super long 20 minutes of meditating on something. Just give yourself one minute and see how that goes and you can always build on that but starting small Once I told someone to do five minutes of something and apparently that was too much I didn’t realize at the time.

I thought it was a manageable or workable goal for them They came back and just felt really bad like being in this place of shame. Carrie. I couldn’t do the five minutes I’m like, it’s okay. It’s not a big deal Can you do it for two minutes or three minutes? It’s okay if you can’t do five, just use that as data and back yourself up a little bit.

And then once you feel really comfortable with what you’re doing, you can stretch yourself a little bit more and a little bit more and a little bit more. And oftentimes that ripple effect can just happen gradually and naturally as you become more comfortable with changes that are happening. have encouraged clients to make all different kinds of health changes, to cut back on caffeine to reduce overall anxiety, if they’re feeling nauseous in the morning, to eat some protein for breakfast.

If clients aren’t exercising at all, I’ll often encourage them to see what they can do for a short amount of time, whether it’s a short walk or some stretching, yoga exercises, and see how they feel afterwards. In working with clients with OCD, I often see that people may be working really hard to, quote, fix their OCD.

I need to know everything right now, give me all of the coping strategies, tell me exactly what to do. I’m going to binge all your episodes, Carrie, and figure it all out and fix myself. What I’m telling my students who are in our fall ICBT learning sessions is that sometimes we have to slow down to speed up.

This is very true in terms of learning ICBT. Learning to slow down your thought process, what is actually there, getting deep dive into the obsessional story. As they slow down and they start to recognize like, Oh, this is where this obsessional doubt is coming from. Oh, this is what OCD is using as justification, but it’s really irrelevant to everything that’s going on.

As they slow down is allowing them to make momentum to make change. to recognize OCD at the first go. If you can recognize it very early before it sucks you into the story and what we call the OCD bubble, then you’re going to be able to shift a lot more easily. And if you get way down, like, and engaging in a lot of compulsions, then it’s a lot harder to get out of.

I like to use a potato chip analogy. There was a potato chip. You can’t eat just one. But, and then the more potato chips you eat, the more potato chips you want. Like with compulsions. Instead, if you’re able to catch that first potato chip and say, oh, okay, whoa, I ate the potato chip. I don’t need to eat anymore.

I’m just going to put these down and instead get a better snack for me. That’s going to be a whole lot easier than if you just sit there mindlessly eating the potato chips and next thing you know, half the bag is gone. So it’s about learning to be intentional. It’s about learning to be present and mindful.

So my question is, what’s your one step? What are you going to do today to move towards positive change in your life? I would love to hear about it. You can email me at podcast at kiribach. com. That email will be in the show notes for you. Remember to enter our review giveaway. A lot of people are not going to follow these steps, so you’ve got a good chance of winning and you’ve still got a few more days to do it.

Until next time, may you be comforted by God’s great love for you. Were you blessed by today’s episode? If so, I’d really appreciate it if you would go over to your iTunes account or Apple Podcasts app on your computer if you’re an Android person and leave us a review. This really helps other Christians who are struggling with OCD be able to find our show.

Christian Faith and OCD is a production of By The Well Counseling. This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be a substitute for seeking mental health treatment in your area.

145. Remaining Sane in Your Marriage While Parenting a Toddler: Our 4th Year of Marriage

Written by Carrie Bock on . Posted in Podcast Episode.

In today’s special episode, Carrie is joined by her husband, Steve, as they celebrate four years of marriage. They share relatable insights about the joys and challenges of family life, and explore the realities of raising a toddler.

Episode Highlights:

  • How Steve and Carrie’s lives have changed since they got married.
  • The importance of navigating shared responsibilities as parents.
  • Steve’s reflection on how their daughter’s perspective on everyday things helps them appreciate the world anew.
  • The challenges of building friendships as parents.
  • The connections between parenting and God’s relationship with us.

Episode Summary:

Welcome back to Christian Faith and OCD! I’m Carrie, and in this special episode, I’m joined by my husband, Steve. Every year, we take a moment to reflect on our lives and share relatable insights about marriage and parenting, hoping to help you feel a little more normal in your journey.

In this episode, we celebrate our wedding anniversary and discuss the ups and downs of parenting our toddler. From her constant questions about the world to the challenges of potty training, we share our experiences with humor and honesty.

We also talk about the struggles of maintaining friendships as parents, navigating social situations, and creating a supportive community for ourselves. It can be tough, but we’re learning and growing together.

To celebrate October, we’re hosting a special giveaway! Anyone who subscribes to our email list and leaves a rating and review for our podcast on iTunes will have a chance to win a $100 Amazon gift card.

To join, follow these instructions:

-Subscribe to our email list at https://carriebock.com/podcast/
-Rate and review our podcast on iTunes.
-Screenshot your review and email it to us at podcast@carriebock.com.

Join the fun and good luck!

Thank you for joining us on this journey of faith and parenting. Let’s dive into today’s episode!

More Episodes to Listen to:

81. On Becoming Parents: Year Two of Marriage with Steve and Carrie Bock

Transcript

Carrie: Welcome to episode 145. I am back with my husband. Today, for those of you who are new to the show, every year we get together and do a anniversary episode and I think it’s still relevant. It’s helpful for people to know a little bit about our lives, but then also the things that we talk about on these episodes really are relatable as far as marriage and parenting and those types of situations that I know other people are going through too. So hopefully it helps you feel more normal.

Hello and welcome to Christian Faith and OCD with Carrie Bock. I’m a Christ follower, wife and mother, licensed professional counselor who helps Christians struggling with OCD get to a deeper level of healing. When I couldn’t find resources for my clients with OCD, God called me to bring this podcast to you with practical tools for developing greater peace.

We’re here to bust through the shame and stigma surrounding struggling with OCD as a Christian, sharing hopeful stories of healing and helping you replace uncertainty with faith. I’m here to help you let go of the past and future to walk in the present abundant life God has for you. So let’s dive right in to today’s episode.

Happy October. I hope that you are enjoying all the fun things that fall has to bring. Here on the podcast, we are doing a very special giveaway in October. We are going to be giving away a 100 gift card to Amazon for anyone who is an email subscriber to the list and who rates and reviews our show on iTunes.

There will be full instructions for entering the giveaway in our show notes, because I don’t want to take up too much time here. You can always reach us for further information at kerrybach. com slash podcast. I will tell you, Steve, that one of our more popular episodes on the show is our dating episode.

Would you believe that?

Steve: No, I would not.

Carrie: Anyway, well, I guess there are a lot of other people like myself who were anxious about dating, who are going through anxiety about dating. That’s a relatable episode to individuals who are struggling with that. And I know a lot of people have relationship anxiety based on past relationships.

So I’m glad that people are benefiting from that episode that we recorded over four years ago now on the floor of our old walk in closet.

Steve: Yes, thankfully we have upgraded slightly here, so that’s good.

Carrie: Yeah, people can’t see that now. Has it really been four years? Wow.

Steve: I mean, it makes sense, we’ve been married, but still, wow, time flies.

Carrie: Yes. That’s good. This episode is actually coming out on our anniversary day.

Steve: Well, that’s a good day for this to come out.

Carrie: Yes, it was a slightly chilly morning in October when we got married.

Steve: Yes.

Carrie: At a park during COVID. So here we are, four years later, life’s quite different than it was back then. We got married and we had a daughter and now we are in the toddler parenting years.

Steve: Oh yes.

Carrie: Do you want to tell the folks some of the fun things that we get to hear on a regular basis and deal with? I love you so much. Me too.

Steve: I hear that one quite often. What else? She has a lot of phrases. What is this? I always was prepared for the constant question of but why, but why, but instead our daughter chose the route of what is this?

And it could be anything, it could be her foot, it doesn’t matter, and after you tell her she’s going to ask it again and again and again, but the same thing. What is this? I have told you 25 times that is your foot, but that is how she gets attention and learn.

Carrie: Sometimes she doesn’t know what it is, but sometimes she does know what it is and you’re like, why are you asking me?

Like, you know, that’s a dog. I don’t understand. And then I’m trying to figure out, is she asking me, is that a particular type of dog or is she asking me something specifically on the dog? Like, is that a collar? Like, what is it that she’s really wanting to know? Because sometimes it’s a little bit more detailed.

Steve: And I will say it is fun and interesting to kind of learn from her view of things. Things we take for granted that we just know. We know what those are. We know why we say this or do that. But to learn things for the first time from her view and her perspective, that’s kind of neat. And she always, not always, but almost always replies with, uh huh.

She just suddenly understands now and you know she has no clue. It’s just a response. But anyways.

Carrie: In a lot of ways, it’s been a really good year with her. There’s been a lot of highs, her taking some swimming lessons this summer, which was really sweet. And she started out just being totally terrified of the pool and the concept of being in the water.

But then she really warmed up to it and enjoyed her lessons. And now occasionally she’ll try to float in the bathtub, which is cool. So that’s nice. There’s also been some lows of lots of big emotions when you’re two, like lots of screaming and tantruming and

Steve: overwhelm and Yes. I know now I know why older people are hard of hearing because maybe just possibly they had children that screamed for 10 straight minutes because they didn’t get their way.

And that’s probably why our parents have ringing of the ears and all of those things because of all the screaming. So it’s part of it.

Carrie: Yeah. Sometimes I just have to plug my ears and walk away cause she’s got some lungs on her and she can scream really loud and she never loses her voice. That is a thing that does not happen at all.

So here we are. What are some of the challenges that you feel like we’ve experienced in terms of parenting her? Potty training. What was the question

Steve: again? I’m sorry. Potty training. Potty training. And do we let her just wear a diaper, not wear a diaper, wet her clothes? Go naked. Go naked. What do we do here?

Potty training, what? How long does this take? Huh. Oh, we could do this in a weekend. Yes, you can go insane in a weekend too, but I don’t know if that’s the route I want to go.

Carrie: She is.

Steve: As much as I joke about it, and forgive my sarcasm, that’s my coping mechanism, but she is beginning to get it, I think. She constantly informs me and us that, hey, I’ve gotta go potty, I’ve gotta go the other way, I’ve gotta whatever.

Of course, at this point, it’s part of the learning process.

Carrie: The ship has already sailed by that point, so she’s saying something about it.

Steve: Right, exactly. But we’re getting there. We are getting there. It’s just a slow go. And I’m sure every parent has tips, and the thing we’ve noticed from others the most is that was the worst part about parenting.

And going into it, we’re like, Don’t tell us that. But now that we’ve been through it a little bit, and we’re not finished, but we would agree with you that’s probably the worst moment in all honesty, or at least from my perspective, I would agree.

Carrie: That we’ve been through so far. Yeah. I think part of the problem is that you have these expectations, right, or people tell you like what to expect.

Oh. Do this, just pump them up with a bunch of juice and have them go naked and have the little potty seat, do the songs, dance around if they go to the bathroom, and like, you’ll be fine, and they’ll get it, and then you realize over time as a parent, you’re like, okay, everything does not always work the way you want it to.

that people are saying it will go and for me I have to reframe that and say that doesn’t mean I’m a failure as a parent because it didn’t work out exactly as I thought it was going to go but more how can I learn my child and what’s going to be best for her how is she going to be motivated to learn and what’s her timeline what’s her process which may be different than someone else’s timelines though so that’s been.

Challenging conception. I think so much to where as parents in this bubble, it’s like being in a, this glass bubble and you feel like everyone is looking at you or are they judging me because I wasn’t able to potty train my child in a weekend. It’s a school wondering, like, what’s going on? You keep sending her in pull ups.

Is she trained yet? Is she not? They’re asking me, like, uh, how’s the potty training going? I’m like, uh.

Steve: And of course you have to wonder, surely we’re not the first parents who have potty trained their child for you to understand that, and nothing against the school, but when they keep asking, you have to wonder, like, what are these other parents doing?

Do they, does the weekend thing just work for them? Because I think it doesn’t, given the responses I’ve heard from other people, but other parents.

Carrie: And maybe it does when you just hit him at that right time and maybe we started too early. I don’t know.

Steve: I don’t know. But I know that we’ve tried to be patient and diligent and we just gotta keep with it.

But it’s hard. It is definitely hard. I know last night, Oddly enough, and I don’t think I told you this, she didn’t want to wear her diaper to bed. I said, Oh, you know, honey, that is daddy’s comfort zone right there. No, we’re not going to bed without a potty. No, no, can’t do that. But I appreciated the idea that tells me that she is slowly getting it.

She’s getting used to at least the idea of it. Maybe not fully understanding the science behind it, but the idea of it.

Carrie: Long term goals, child. Long term goals to go to bed in underwear for sure.

Steve: Yes.

Carrie: One thing that’s certainly a challenge, you have different challenges earlier on in your relationship. Like when you’re first getting to know someone, and then you live together, there’s other challenges that come up that you have to kind of figure out and navigate through.

And then when you have a child, there’s this shared responsibility of the child trying to be on the same page and do the same things for them. Then also trying to figure out how do we have time for ourselves as a couple? What does that look like? Date night was super easy when we were first married and didn’t have a kid.

It’s like, oh, no problems. We’ll just go out, whatever. We want to kind of within reason and finances, but we didn’t have to worry about getting a babysitter or making sure our kid was in bed by a certain time. We didn’t have to have those challenges. And that’s hard.

Steve: Yeah, that is hard, especially when, not just for date night, but people will invite us places or church will have an event or whatever and, oh yeah, it starts at six or let’s meet at six, whatever.

Yeah, that’s not gonna work because we want to start the process of putting her to bed at like 630. That’s not a routine you want to break. There are a lot of routines that I’m willing to break for one night or whatever, but going to sleep is not one of them. That is a hard no, most of the time. And, uh, we miss a lot of things.

Carrie: There’s a challenge too, I think, with making friends with children who also have toddlers because a lot of times somebody in the family will be sick, you’ll be trying to get together with people and then it’s like, oh, well, so and so in our family is sick. And that can be a challenge, I think, to make connections.

We have a really great friend group and really great supports. A lot of people that don’t have children that are married. But. We don’t really have a whole lot of, that’s something that I’m kind of continually processing in my own mind. How can I get my mom tribe? They haven’t really showed up on the scene yet, so if you want, if you’re in the area and you want to join, I’m available.

That’s hard too.

Steve: We had children later in life. so most of the people, at least my age, I’m even older than you, they’re on grandchildren now. And I heard somebody recently that was actually a year younger than me talking about their seven year old grandchild. And I thought, oh my gosh, that’s, no, I don’t even have a seven year old.

I have two and a half year olds. We’re later, so it’s hard to find people in our same mix, which fortunately for us, it’s making friends with people doesn’t mean they have to be our age.

Carrie: Yeah.

Steve: That’s a blessing, but it’s difficult.

Carrie: It’s hard to make friends, though, as an adult. I hear this a lot from clients, not just you and I have certainly talked about it, but other people too.

It’s hard to find reciprocal relationships where you can kind of go back and forth and invite people and they invite you and those types of things. It’s a challenge.

Steve: It is.

Carrie: Well, when we were talking about date night, one of the things that we were challenged by that we’ve been going through this year is grace marriage.

So grace marriage emphasizes a few different things. For those of you who don’t know what grace marriage is, it’s a marriage enrichment program that meets four times a year at church. They have little videos that you watch and then you. break up into a small group, you may have some small group discussion about the specific topic, but then you have one on one time with your spouse, a lot of break offs kind of with your spouse where you can talk about specific topics in your relationship, which has been really interesting.

It’s different. We’ve never done anything like that before. What’s your overall impression been?

Steve: Well, I think that grace marriage is a wonderful, wonderful tool for any couple. A lot of people might think that that’s something that you go through once you have difficulty, but every relationship has its difficulties.

And if you’re the relationship that says, we have none, I suggest you get the information and go quickly because everybody has a problem. It just, every relationship has an issue. And so it’s good to build your foundation on as a couple. And grow from, and we’ve had times where we watched our little video segment, whatever.

And then we went off to the side and discussed some questions about what we just saw or heard. And there have been situations where, or questions that I didn’t realize that answer was going to be what Kerry said. I had no idea. I was like, Oh, I didn’t know that’s how you felt. Wow. Okay, that changes some things.

And for good, usually. It makes you more aware. You go into things thinking you know everything, but usually you don’t.

Carrie: Right, I think there definitely have been some surprising moments, even when they ask you, like, what do you appreciate about your spouse? And then you share that with each other, you make a list, like, here are some things that I see in you, some positive qualities in these different domains in your life.

And I was like, oh, wow. That was really nice that Steve said that about me.

Steve: And isn’t that the thing though, that it’s good to hear the good things. We always like, ugh, you never, you this, that, whatever. We complain about one another. That’s just how couples are. I mean, we don’t go around complaining about one another all day, I hope.

But it’s not as often that you hear the good things of what someone thinks about you. I think that’s a, I don’t know if misnomer is the right wording for that, but it’s assumed that the other person already understands what you feel.

Carrie: Yeah.

Steve: But even if they know what you feel, they need to hear it every now and then.

Yeah. That’s something I’ve definitely had to grow on and learn from.

Carrie: Yeah, it’s something that we’ve been to two of these so far, and it’s something that they essentially kind of started out with on both of them was talking about appreciation for your spouse. Because it is, it’s easy for us in our minds to get focused on the negative, not just in your relationship with your spouse, but other areas of your life.

Like, oh. Let me think about all the things I don’t like about this job instead of, oh, here are the really good things about this job, or here are the positive things that are happening in my work situation. And so if we have to really retrain our brains in that sense to focus more on things that are good and true and lovely.

Like the scripture tells us to do, I think that that’s crucial for our sense of contentment and joy in our life, really focusing on those positive things, but Gottman, who’s a marriage researcher, talks about, I think it’s like a seven to one ratio talking to your spouse, like, Seven compliments for every one criticism is a good ratio to have.

Steve: I gotta get back on the ball. I’m behind.

Carrie: No, you’re good. You’re good. That was one piece of grace marriage that we really got out of, but then another piece had to do with what we were talking about earlier, this sense of dating your spouse and how we put a lot of emphasis in early on in our relationship as we’re getting to know that person, to Go out and do fun things or spend time together, but then life gets busy in our marriage, jobs get busy, your parenting gets busy, then there’s church responsibilities that we have, we have a small group that we lead once a week, so that takes up some time to plan that, certainly, and all the other things that we have going on, and then to really make our relationship a priority, and that’s something that we’re kind of failing forward in, I would say, Sometimes we’re really good at the date stuff, and sometimes for us it looks like a date day while our daughter is in school.

If I can carve out some time on a Wednesday during the week, or if we can get somebody to watch her or go to drop in child care, things like that, we have like an evening out.

Steve: And wasn’t it in the past, and I may have mentioned this before, but the, that my doctor said, Doctor appointments are not a date, that doesn’t count, because we’re always together on those, almost always, and it’s often just the two of us, but what we have done, is you go to the doctor appointment, and then afterwards, we might go out for coffee, or for lunch, or something.

And I’ve enjoyed that. In a sense, it’s also a reward for getting past the doctor appointment, which if you have to go to the doctor often, as I have had, it’s a real treat to get to do something special, even if it is just going for coffee. So it’s nice.

Carrie: And I cannot remember the name of the restaurant, but there’s this really good taco place across from Vanderbilt.

Would we go to see you? You’re a neurologist. And so it’s like, yes, because usually you have to wait a while. You’re waiting a while around there and then you get to see the doctor and then it’s like, okay, let’s go get tacos afterwards. Yes,

Steve: absolutely. And I’m normally not as much, I like street tacos and I like authentic tacos.

Some people call those things tacos. They are not tacos. But that’s just my rant. But this place was wonderful. It had a good atmosphere and really good food. So I’ll leave it at that. But that was definitely, that’s a place I want to go back to.

Carrie: Yeah, for sure. One of the things that we’ve done over this past year through church, well, we’ve got a couple of things going on.

I’ve talked about this before, but we are part of a church plant that we are trying to plant a church from kind of the main church over where we’re going to and then put one in Smyrna. So, that’s kind of, we have different activities and outreaches for that. We don’t really have a name yet. We don’t have a pastor.

It’s a very bizarre type situation. We do have several small groups that are going and outreach events that are happening. But we are also reading through the Bible, which has been interesting part of the process this year. I know that you’ve probably read through the Bible before. What do you feel like has been different about this year as you’re reading it through?

Steve: Well, we’re doing it chronologically,

Carrie: Which is a big difference.

Steve: By going through the Old Testament, it can be very difficult to get through all the sections that are like begat and so and so’s name and this many years and this much measurement and those things. But then when you can have the order that it was put in, it becomes more relevant.

Because when you’re reading the Bible as we have it now, it doesn’t make as much sense to me. Now it makes more sense on some of those areas.

Carrie: They intersperse the prophets with chronicles or, you know, kings and chronicles, the parts that overlap, put those together and they kind of, this one did something interesting with the Psalms.

It kind of interspersed them throughout the different pieces of the Old Testament. where they felt like they were relevant. When I was reading through a different chronological Bible, they grouped the Psalms together almost by topics. Here are the Psalms about this for worship and here are the Psalms about this.

I think the thing that has stood out to me about it is a couple of things. One, There are just some weird parts of the Bible. There’s no other way to say it. There’s just, like, there was one time Like the talking donkey? Well, there’s the talking donkey, but I mean, there was a time where God told something like Jeremiah to throw his underwear in the river.

Yeah. And then Ezekiel hit some of the stuff that he did was just very strange. And

Steve: statues with all the faces, yeah, yes,

Carrie: yes, a lot of symbolism. And if you look at the whole theme of the scriptures, reading through chronologically, it’s like God has certain commands, God’s holy, and he’s like, Hey, I need you to follow these laws.

But because God’s all knowing, he already knew people were going to mess it up. It’s like, here’s your commands, of course they didn’t do what they were supposed to do. God said, okay, you’re getting shipped out of here, like, I’m going to have some people come in and conquer you, you’re going to be exiled, but I’m going to bring you back.

And so there’s this interesting parental balance. And I feel like we go through it as parents, right? It’s like, okay, strict versus gracious and loving. It’s like, you got to be strict at times and say, no, you’re not getting away with that. Get your little butt in time out. You know, you’re not acting right.

Like you don’t get to just haul off and hit me because I didn’t give you what you wanted. You have to get in time out. And then. There’s also these pieces of like, Hey, I love you. Come sit over here and let me talk with you or tell me about your day or what happened today. And I see that with God too. God saying, Hey, you’re in the wrong.

There were so many things going on. They’re like, you’re not treating the poor correctly. You’re not taking my ceremony seriously like that. He was speaking through the prophets, but then he said, okay, but I’m going to bring you back. And I love you. And I’m not letting you go. And I’m not ever giving up on you.

So, even when we mess, God has good plans for us. God wants to bring us back into relationship with him. That door is always open and anybody that’s hearing this, it feels like they’ve gone too far from God or they’re like, I just can’t get it together. God knows that and understands. He might be disciplining you through this process, but it’s before you’re good because he wants to bring you back into relationship with him in a healthy way.

Steve: And I’ve heard people say this, I’m just too far gone. There’s no such thing. You’re still living and breathing. You are not too far gone. I can think of an individual in my mind who was on their deathbed, taking, I don’t even know if they had seven breaths left in them, and they wanted Jesus right then and there.

They’re like, yeah, I knew him as a child. Let’s go back to that. And I thought, golly, they went their whole life practically from their twenties onto their deathbed. Just running, running from him, and then on their last few breaths, they realized in the reality of everything and their shame and their pride and whatever was holding them back before, he still loves me.

He hasn’t given up on me, even in your last seven breaths or whatever it is. So it’s never too late. He just wants to love us. Like you said, it’s the same way with parenting. A good parent, you always love your child, even in the midst of the kicking and the screaming and the chaos. And just like with God, you just want to spend good quality time with your child.

Carrie: Yeah.

Steve: When God wants out of us, spend some quality time with me. My goodness. Slow down for a minute. Stop being so selfish.

Carrie: And sometimes when we’re having a bad day, we just need love. Absolutely. Recently, with Faith, I’ve been telling her if she starts to get kind of whiny or fussy, I’m like, do you want me to hug the cranky out of you?

And sometimes I say that to her first thing in the morning because she wakes up a little cranky. So today I said, do you need me to hug the cranky out of you? And she’ll say, yes. And I’m like, okay, well, come here.

Steve: Yeah, I think she wakes up like I do, a little cranky, a little out of it, and she comes around.

And for the record, she’s 99 percent of the time, she’s sweet and fun loving. She’s at her best when other people are around though.

Carrie: Yeah.

Steve: So I used to joke and say, let’s just put a bunch of mannequins in the house or always have people over or something because that’s when she’s her best.

Carrie: That’s when she’s her best self.

Steve: I don’t think I want to potty train that way though.

Carrie: Uh, no, that’d be a little awkward. So give everybody your update on your SCA. So you have Spina Cerebellar Ataxia. And how has it been going this last year? Because that was kind of took up some of our first few episodes.

Steve: Well, my unbalanced is a little bit more balanced.

Don’t know if that makes sense, but I have a disease that part of it is, is that I’m unbalanced and nothing has really gotten worse for the most part. I’m still going through some of it. I still have the aches and the pains and the different little things. I’ll spare y’all the wah, but you take it day by day and you just deal with it.

Everybody has something, right? So, I haven’t really gotten anything major that’s new, which is great news. When I go to the neurologist next, I’m kind of interested to see if they see any changes, but my regular doctor, everything’s normal, good, with me in general, so that’s a good thing.

Carrie: As far as we know, your vision hasn’t changed over the last two years hasn’t changed.

Steve: There’s some minor things that I get, but it’s part of it. So yeah, having it not change any further, that’s a real blessing. If I lost complete sight today, I’d be okay with it. I mean, I could live with that. My prayer was answered in that I just wanted to see my daughter. That was it. And I’ve gotten to see so much of her, especially when she’s dancing around and being silly.

She’s got some dance moves, I’ll tell you. But anyways, it’s good to see that.

Carrie: Even in spite of all the challenges that we face and that you have, we’re living a blessed life right now and just are thankful for each day that you’re here and able to spend time with Faith and able to see her and able to be involved and do the things that you do.

So love and life in our new house and yes,

Steve: we’ve had a lot of changes this year haven’t we?

Carrie: Yeah.

Steve: Goodnessvgracious.

Carrie: We have.

Steve: But all good. All good. I remember a couple years ago finding out my diagnosis and having faith and some of those things that went on. That was a tough year. Those changes were difficult.

These changes were things that do help us.

Carrie: Yeah. Things that we’ve been wanting. So now I have a bonus area upstairs where I can work and record the podcast, but for the most part, you don’t come up here. You did come up today, but for the most part, you don’t come upstairs.

Steve: This might be my fifth time upstairs, maybe.

Carrie: Yeah.

Steve: Fifth, I think fifth, but I do not come upstairs very often. That is not something I enjoy doing. That’s part of the reason we moved out of the other house was because of the stairs.

Carrie: Yeah.

Steve: But it’s nice for you. You can get away from me and not have to deal with me for a little while. Not that I’m that problematic, but it’s nice.

You can come up here and be by yourself and no issues.

Carrie: Well, thanks everyone for listening to our show today and telling you about our fourth year of marriage update. We are happy to be here and hopefully you got just what you needed out of this episode. That’s our prayer, but it’s a nice little, I think, almost journal entry for us once a year that we do.

Kind of update people on our relationship and on our year. Hopefully you can learn something from our stories. Until next time, may you be comforted by God’s great love for you. Were you blessed by today’s episode? If so, I’d really appreciate it if you would go over to your iTunes account or Apple Podcasts app on your computer if you’re an Android person.

And leave us a review. This really helps other Christians who are struggling with OCD be able to find our show. Christian Faith in OCD is a production of by the well Counseling Opinions given by our guests are their own, and do not necessarily reflect the views of myself or by the Well counseling. This podcast is for informational purposes only, and should not be a substitute for seeking mental health treatment in your area.

144. God Loves Me, But I Don’t: 5 Ways to Increase Self-Compassion

Written by Carrie Bock on . Posted in OCD, Podcast Episode.

In this episode, Carrie dives deep into the importance of self-compassion and how it is essential in overcoming perfectionism, OCD, and healing from past trauma.

Episode Highlight:

  • How self-compassion is rooted in faith and mirrors the love and grace of Jesus.
  • Why self-criticism often leads to increased feelings of guilt and shame.
  • How to recognize and counteract negative self-talk.
  • The importance of nurturing your inner child to cultivate more compassionate self-talk.

Episode Summary:

Welcome to Episode 144 of Christian Faith and OCD! In today’s episode, we’ll explore the transformative power of self-compassion, a crucial element for those facing the challenges of OCD and perfectionism. Many of us struggle to reconcile God’s love for us with how we view ourselves, often leading to feelings of shame and self-criticism.

Join me as I explore how to cultivate self-compassion through a Christ-centered lens. We’ll discuss practical strategies for letting go of self-criticism, embracing imperfection, and viewing ourselves with the kindness that Jesus offers. I also share insights on how to engage authentically in Christian community and live a fulfilling life, free from the burdens of shame and judgment.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by trauma, OCD, or anxiety symptoms, I invite you to explore therapeutic retreats or multi-day intensive sessions designed to provide healing and hope. I would love to sit down with you for a consultation to discuss these options further. Remember, there is hope and healing on the other side of what you’re dealing with right now. For more information, visit my website at carriebock.

Transcript

Hello and welcome to Christian Faith and OCD with Carrie Bock. I’m a Christ follower, wife and mother, licensed professional counselor who helps Christians struggling with OCD get to a deeper level of healing. When I couldn’t find resources for my clients with OCD, God called me to bring this podcast to you with practical tools for developing greater peace.

We’re here to bust through the shame and stigma surrounding struggling with OCD as a Christian, sharing hopeful stories of healing, and helping you replace uncertainty with faith. I’m here to help you let go of the past and future to walk in the present abundant life God has for you. So let’s dive right into today’s episode.

Happy October. I hope that you are enjoying all the fun things that fall has to bring. Here on the podcast, we are doing a very special giveaway in October. We are going to be giving away a 100 gift card to Amazon for anyone who is an email subscriber to the list and who rates and reviews our show on iTunes.

There will be full instructions for entering the giveaway in our show notes, because I don’t want to take up too much time here. You can always reach us for further information at karybach. com slash podcast. Hey, if we’re going to develop more self compassion, first, let’s define what self compassion is.

I believe that’s responding to ourselves in a way that Jesus would respond to us. Jesus knows there are going to be times where we mess things up, where we make mistakes, where we sin, where we have areas of our life where we need to grow, that we have things we need to work through in our relationships.

And we need to be able to connect with that love that God has towards us and be able to point that towards ourself in our own flaws. Otherwise, we get stuck. We get paralyzed. We end up not doing things for the kingdom of God. We end up not taking risks because we say, God can’t use me. We disqualify ourselves from ministry and putting ourselves down can also keep us from connecting authentically in Christian community.

As Christ wants us to do when we look at the greatest commandment of love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength. And also love your neighbor as yourself. If you do not like yourself, it’s going to be really hard to put yourself in situations where you’re around other people trying to authentically connect in community, because you’re going to say, nobody wants to be my friend, or I’m unworthy, or I’m not enough to be in this particular circle.

They don’t know what I’ve done in the past. I want to be really clear that we’re not talking about some kind of woo woo, I love myself and I’m giving myself all kinds of positive affirmations about how wonderful I am. We’re not trying to bend towards this direction of pride. We’re trying to say, how can I have a balanced.

View of myself, love myself and others the way that the Lord loves me. Speak kindly to myself as Jesus would speak kindly to me. Even if it was in correction, I can still speak kindly to myself. So if you have a lot of self criticism in your life, and you’re trying to grow self compassion, step one, let’s be curious and find the function of this self criticism.

It didn’t just show up there out of nowhere. There’s some reason it got built into your system. And I find that we often criticize ourselves. To avoid criticism from others, so just take a moment for yourself and reflect on where did I start doing that? Where did I start holding back and saying, Oh, no, I can’t do that here.

That’s too much to avoid other people from criticizing me. When did I pour over what I was doing? In an unhealthy way, just so that in an effort to keep someone else from putting me down, whether that was a friend, mentor, a teacher, a parent, pastor, whoever that was. Usually we internalize a critical spirit from someone else who was constantly critical of us.

That’s not always the case. I have had clients that have just always been critical of themselves, and I think it can come somewhat from personality subtypes that are harder on themselves, and maybe their parents weren’t necessarily harder on them or weren’t particularly strict, but you can think about this even in terms of if you were raised in a very strict religious environment, you were that you may have felt the need to be perfect or be a certain way in order to please God.

So finding the function of that self criticism and then realizing that the function is actually working against what you’re trying to accomplish. People say, well, if I wasn’t so hard on myself, then I wouldn’t be pushing myself to do certain things. But then you find out that they’re so critical of themselves, they don’t end up doing the things that they want to do.

I want you to think about this. You’ve all had different types of employers. If you’ve been in the working world, now which boss would you rather work for? Boss A is always pointing out everything that you do wrong. He or she doesn’t see anything that you do well. Just says, okay, you need to go and you need to fix that.

Don’t do this. Don’t do that. Don’t say that. You look stupid over there. What are you thinking? Would you rather work for that boss or would you rather work for boss B who says, Hey, you did a great job on this area over here. You’ve got some needs improvements in these areas. How can I support you in that?

Let’s work together. Let’s develop a plan to help you get to a different place in your work. But hey, I just want to also say that area C over here, you’re doing amazing with that. You’ve got great working relationships with your co workers, always supportive, always encouraging. How can I help you? How can I come alongside you?

Of course you would want to work for Boss B. I don’t know that I’ve ever met anybody who said, Oh yeah, sign me up for that horribly critical micromanaging boss that points out everything I do wrong. You may have had a boss like that. It’s not very comfortable working for them. Why do we do this with ourselves then?

Why do we think that having boss A with ourselves and pointing out everything we do wrong? Why do we think that that’s helpful for us? It’s not. Instead, we can take a much more balanced approach when we’re evaluating our own behavior and say, Okay, here are some things that seem to be going well in my life.

I have set aside time with God in the mornings. I have developed a healthy rhythm. I have made changes to pray for specific people or at specific times of my day, but I know I’m lacking in this area of my life. I know that I have some forgiveness prayers that I need to pray and work through and some resentments I need to let go of.

I have too quick to anger at times. Whatever the situation is in your life that you’re dealing with, it’s healthy for us to examine ourselves. There are, self examination is scriptural. Search me, oh God, and know my heart. I think it was Paul that said, test yourself to see if you’re in the faith. So this sense of self examination is not bad.

Now you can overdo it if you have OCD, so don’t go down a huge rabbit hole where you’re self examining forever. Step two is to expect imperfection. One thing I used to do to myself all the time was I would create these really long to do lists and I never sat down and thought Actually, how long are these tasks going to take me?

I would just think okay I need to get all of this stuff done today because these are important things and they need to be done And I’m sure I would get distracted in the process, whatever But then I would just beat myself up if I didn’t accomplish enough things off the list And I’ve had to realize that I have to have more realistic expectations for myself, that I can plan out my day, but that life happens, crises occur, unexpected things happen.

My husband woke up sick one day and that meant that I had to get my daughter ready and it meant that there was a lot more TV time in the morning because things were just shuffled around. And it’s okay because it’s life, but I also know too that I can be really hard on myself if I feel like I didn’t make a good decision about something and maybe you struggle with this too.

We have to be able to not only expect the unexpected, but to expect that we’re not always going to get it right. And that can be very difficult if you have perfectionistic tendencies because you would like to get it right every time and you would like to make good decisions and you would like to make sure that things work out well for you because you’ve made a good decision.

All very good goals, excellent goals, however sometimes we make the decisions based off of the information that we have and when we have later information, we go, oh man, now that I have later information, I would never have made that decision back there. This happened to me so recently, guys, I know I will tell you about it more in detail on the podcast sometime, but I was sitting in shame for days about a business decision that I had made and a group of people I had decided to work with.

And I told myself I should have known better than to get involved in this situation with these people. That was a really unfair judgment on myself because there was a lot of information that I didn’t know and I was acting on the information that I did know. The positive reviews this company had, how many years they had been in business, the information, the meeting that I had with the head of the organization.

All of these different pieces, but then later on down the road, other things transpired and other information was received and other things happened without going into all the details or throwing anybody under the bus. And I sat there and I was so upset that I had made the decision to work with these individuals.

That was It’s really, really hard for me to sit with and acknowledge. And what I came to a place of peace about today is that God knew that this was going to happen, number one, and that I can use this as a learning experience. I’ve had a lot of hard learning experiences, which happen when you do new things in your business that you’ve never done before.

New things in your life, you learn, you grow, sometimes you learn by making mistakes, and even though those decisions were made cautiously, prayerfully, with consideration, I did not see the outcome coming out the way that it did, and there was no way for me to predict that. So I can’t judge the present information that I know and that I have right now.

I can’t judge my past self based on that information that I know now. This is point three that I wanted to give to you. I’ll have clients that are processing through trauma, things that they did when they were in active addiction, things that they did when they were far from God. They may have been a Christian, but they ran away from God.

Things that they did before they were Christian and they’re like, man, I cannot believe that I did that. And I’m like, okay, but where are you now? Bring yourself back into the present. Would you do those things now? Well, no, of course not. You’ve grown and you’ve learned from them and you’re in a different place spiritually.

So you can’t judge your past self based on your present self of where you are today. If you are stuck in a place of shame, and I was just stuck in some recently, so I know how bad that feels, stop judging your past self on your present self. You’re not doing those things anymore. And you have different information, and you’ve grown, and you’ve learned from your experiences.

Transcribed As far as the east is from the west is how far God has removed our transgressions from us. Scripture says there’s a reason for that. God is not living in the past bringing up your past. The only ones that do that are us and our enemy. Those are the only ones that bring up the past and hold it against us.

Your past is under the blood of Jesus Christ if you are a Christian. My fourth tip is to picture your inner child. Now this may sound a little far fetched for some of you who have never done this type of work, but if you’re having a really hard time speaking kindly to yourself, if you’re overly critical, would you imagine saying some of the things that you say to yourself to a child?

The dialogue that goes, you’re stupid, or you’re worthless, anything negative. How would you kindly guide and direct a child as they’re going through life? You know, we are to come to God as children. And we need to learn to retrain our inner self talk, to be kinder and to speak to ourself in a way that’s more patient, and to be kinder and to speak to ourselves in a way that’s more patient.

and gentle in that process. So if you can picture your inner child, if you’re struggling with having self compassion towards yourself, can you love on that inner child who is lost, Wounded, sometimes lonely and broken, and hurting at times. Can you love on that inner child? Can you sit with some sense of care or reassurance?

If you can’t think of your inner child or that seems a little weird for you, you can also think about, would I talk to my best friend like this? Would I put someone else down this harshly? No, you probably wouldn’t. You’d probably have a lot more grace or compassion for your best friend. My fifth tip is to meditate on a time where you felt a positive, healthy connection with God.

If you can bring that up from a sensory level experience, where were you, what were you doing, or what was going on around you? What were you feeling? What was that sense of being connected with God like in a healthy way? And from there, really looking at what does the Bible say about God’s love for you?

Maybe you take some of those verses and meditate on those. You can also meditate on verses that talk about God being a good father that may be hard for you to connect with, but allowing God to restore this view of who you are in a healthy and balanced way so that you can respond to yourself in the way that God would respond to you.

What I’ve seen time and time again is that many people have difficulties with self compassion due to past trauma and wounding relationships in their life, broken attachment relationships with parents or other caregivers. If that’s something you’re dealing with, I do therapeutic retreats or multi day intensive sessions with individuals who have a lot of trauma and OCD symptoms or lots of trauma and anxiety symptoms.

I would love to sit down with you over a consultation when you talk about those options further for you. Know that there is hope and healing on the other side of what you’re dealing with right now. Until next time, may you be comforted by God’s great love for you. Were you blessed by today’s episode? If so, I’d really appreciate it if you would go over to your iTunes account or Apple podcasts App on your computer if you’re an Android person and leave us a review.

This really helps other Christians who are struggling with OCD be able to find our show. Christian Faith in OCD is a production of By the Well Counseling. This podcast is for informational purposes only, and should not be a substitute for seeking mental health treatment in your area.