246. Navigating the Messiness of Dating as a Christian with Steve and Carrie Bock

In this episode, Carrie sits down with her husband Steve to talk honestly about the messy, hopeful, and often awkward road of Christian dating, sharing what they wish someone had told them before they found each other.

Episode Highlights:

• Why trusting God’s timing in dating can save you from years of heartache and regret
• How to spot true relationship dealbreakers vs minor preferences when dating with intention
• What doing your homework before a relationship really means (without becoming a stalker)
• Why too much texting and long phone calls early in Christian dating can backfire
• How praying through your list of qualities in a spouse can transform your dating life

Episode Summary:

Why Do So Many Single Christians Feel Invisible in Their Own Church?

I remember sitting in a row of single women on a Sunday morning, looking around and asking where all the single guys even were. Church can be a beautiful place for community, but it can also feel like the loneliest room in the world when everyone around you is paired off with a spouse and kids. Steve and I both lived that awkwardness for years before we found each other, and it shaped how we now try to show up for the singles in our own church family.

What’s the One Piece of Dating Advice That Could Save You Years of Heartache?

Steve has one rule he tells every single person who asks him about dating, and it is not what people expect to hear. It has nothing to do with chemistry or timing and everything to do with the posture you bring into a relationship before it even starts. We both learned this the hard way through years of dating that went nowhere, and it is the one thing we wish someone had drilled into us sooner.

Why Does Waiting for the Right Person Feel Impossible When You Want to Be Married Now?

I once threw a book across the room because it told me healing from divorce would take four years. I did not have four years to spare, or so I thought. What I did not understand yet was how God was using that exact timeline to prepare me for something I could not have handled any earlier, and Steve had his own version of this same lesson during his two decades of singleness.

What’s the Difference Between Doing Your Homework and Becoming a Stalker?

Steve and I do not agree on everything when it comes to vetting someone you are dating, but we both agree you cannot skip this step. There is a real line between paying attention to red flags and turning into someone who hides below a steering wheel in a parking lot, and knowing where that line sits can protect you from years of wasted time with the wrong person.

Can You Really Tell Someone’s Character Before You Marry Them?

We talk about the yellow flags that show up early, long before anyone is ready to admit them, and how the way someone responds when you name a concern tells you almost everything you need to know. Steve shares one specific question he asked on every single first date, something most people never think to bring up, and it ended up being one of his true dealbreakers.

Steve and I get a lot more specific in the full episode, including the prayer list I made before we met, and the story of how our first public photo together blew up online. If you are single, married, or somewhere in between, there is a piece of this conversation for you. Listen to the full episode to hear it all.